Sometimes the answer is no. Get over it. { Guest Post }

An adoptive mommy friend of mine from over at Don't Let Life Pass You By is sharing a post with us today about one of the lessons her special little boy has taught her. Thank you, Elissa! My little boy, he’s a bit on the special needs side. A colorful social history from before he joined our family has created an odd mix of developmental delay, behavior issues, and just plain weirdness. But he makes my world pulse with life that I didn't know existed before he came along. He brings such a picture of faith to my line of vision. And being the dork that I am, I feel the need to share such stories with you. Like this one. So here’s the scene. Mom and Max bopping along in the minivan on our way to school. Aka Max’s happy place. And the rather petite nine year old is the picture of calm in his little toddler safety seat, looking at a Calvin and Hobbes comic book.  Mom suddenly remembers that she hasn't brushed her teeth yet (oops) and reaches down for her not so secret stash of mints.  The reality of which doesn't escape the extremely observant boy in the back. Who also wants a mint.  But he hates these mints, and it usually takes him about 30 seconds of sucking to remember that truth.   And this Mama wasn't in the mood to have two mints in her mouth this morning, so when the inevitable request comes, she declines.  And oh, the terror. The begging. The whining. The threatening. The guilt trip. He throws every trick in his arsenal at me hoping one of them will help him get his grubby little fingers on that mint he won’t like.  But Mama in her infinite wisdom is not falling for any of it. She’s been around the block a few more times than the boy in the back, and is fairly good at predicting the outcome of the situation. And so while I’m not exactly comparing myself to Jesus, I can totally see a parallel relationship to the prayers I've prayed in my past. Please Jesus can I have… No, you won’t like it. But this time I’ll… Yeah, I've heard that story before. No dice. What if I… Good try, but no. Been there? I thought so. I don’t know about you, but I’m so glad Jesus knows more than me. And I’m totally glad He doesn't grant me those requests He knows I won’t end up liking. Elissa Peterson is a busy mother of four, who likes to pretend she has her act together. She blogs about the her own personal version of crazy on her blog http://dontletlifepassyouby.blogspot.com/

I Want More { A Letter to my Sons }

Today I have the privilege of guest posting over at Don't Let Life Pass You By, a fellow adoptive mom's blog.

Head on over here to read about {some of } my desires for my sons.

 

The Lotus Flower - Guest Post by Pat Marcus

Erin asked me to guest post on her blog and I wrote a lovely impersonal piece. It's been sitting on my computer and I have been looking at it and knowing its not good enough. What I want to say is working with waiting children and waiting parents has changed me in every way possible.

Just briefly, I am a pediatric physical therapist who travels to China, works with waiting children, trains caregivers, and helps connect waiting parents to waiting children. I can say although I worked in adoption for years, I have completely dedicated myself to supporting adoption since 2007 when I first went to China.

I am amazed by the depth and willingness to love and be loved by the kids and the prospective families. I have had to dig deep, knowing some children will never know the love of a mom and a dad. I have seen children bond with adoptive parents before they have even seen their picture. I have been given a little lecture by a waiting child about why it takes so long to be adopted. You think all of this would shake my faith? No,really I feel there is such a circle that envelops us all. The old red thread story. If anything, my experiences with adoption have brought me closer to faith and belief. I am more supportive of adoption and adoptive parents than ever. I love all the children I meet and hold them in my heart until the waiting adoptive parents can get them. Even after they are forever special to me.

I believe there is a home, parent and family waiting for every child I meet. It breaks my heart when this does not happen. These children so deserve a happy future. They are lotus buds, arising from muddy water, difficult circumstances. Waiting to bloom and be what was intended, beautiful perfect flowers. Sometimes it takes faith to know that the flower will come from the bud but now I can see the potential flower waiting in every child. The miracle waiting to happen.

This is how adoption has changed me. So I support adoption in any way I can and hope you all will too.

Pat

One Hope & A Bushel of Grace { Part 2 } Guest Post by Tiffany Clark

Tiffany Clark is a mother of six; three of whom were adopted from China. She blogs over at Gingham & RicRac. Thank you for sharing your story here Tiffany!

I prayed and spent many quiet hours with the Lord asking for an answer for what He had in store for our family next.  I waited…and waited.  I thought we had learned all we needed to about patience with the last 2 adoptions.  We figured we were on to another new adventure…we were willing…we were able…but I wasn’t ready for the answer...

 

The Clark Children

When the answer came that we would adopt again…I remember asking WHY?  We’d already DONE that…been faithful.   But God made it abundantly clear that there was another little one waiting and hoping in the Lord on the other side of the world.  Her needs were confusing but our acceptance of her was complete.  And HIS plan for her,  miraculous.

Micah 7:7  But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God, my savior; my God will hear me.

WillaJane became a Clark 8 months ago.  There have been challenges and she is profoundly delayed in the speech area but she fits into this family like a missing puzzle piece.  WillaJane teaches our family new lessons every day about acceptance, peace, and joy.  She has been healed of her  physical special needs we were told of in her referral and now that she is part of a forever family- her heart and spirit will be healed as well.

Another blog friend stated my thoughts exactly when they said:  “And here as we walk out this miracle of adoption, we are awakened again to the nearness of God. Somehow... now three adoptions later it is still a mystery to me... Somehow God takes what was broken and bereft of hope and breathes new life into it. He takes a child- alone and sick and scared- and a family on the other side of the planet who knows that they are not yet complete... and makes a new family. He redeems that which seems lost. Because that is what He does.  And it is all just grace that we get to be a part.

We are not afraid.  We are not looking for easy lives.  We ARE looking for glory, hope, redemption, and love in every corner and crevice because our Creator God has placed it there. We’re not about the practical. We’re about the impractical, incomprehensible, wild and ridiculous love of our great Redeemer.”

“Are we finished?”  “Will we adopt again?”  These are questions I get frequently.  Well- I dearly hope God is not finished with us yet.  There may or may not be another “Clark” out there…but there are plenty of children who need us and we are open to the call.  It’s an exciting, crazy place to live…fully in HIS plan.  We don’t know what it is but I love surprises!  And I want to be wherever HE is!

One Hope & A Bushel of Grace { Part 1 } Guest Post by Tiffany Clark

Tiffany Clark is a mother of six; three of whom were adopted from China.  She blogs over at Gingham & RicRac.  Thank you for sharing your story here Tiffany!

The Clark Family

 

November is National Adoption Month….so the subject has been on my mind more than usual.  I must say, though, that it is never far from my thoughts since we live life with six  children- three of which were once orphans by the world’s definition.  A day doesn’t go by that I am not .reminded anew of what a gift they are in our lives and how truly blessed (sometimes I even use the word “lucky”!!) I am to be their mama.  I have people stop me all the time to ask about our family and how it came to be.  I consider it a chance to share the Gospel but every once in a while I am met with shock at our decision to grow our family in this way…or to grow our family at all beyond the three biological children we were given.  To tell the truth- God has changed my heart so deeply that I don’t even remember what it felt like to NOT have a heart for the fatherless…and I have a hard time relating to folks who don’t “get it”. 

 But I yearn to be a doer of the word…and give grace to those who need it.  I certainly need it…in fact, when I am asked (at least twice a day) how I “do it”—I think they mean run a large household—I have to admit that I don’t.  God and a whole bunch of his Grace get us through a day of cooking, cleaning, taxi driving, encouraging, cheerleading, &  whip cracking through various piano, gymnastics, swimming, & driving lessons. Multiply that out by a husband, a dog, and 6 kiddos…whew…there is no way I do it all on my own. 

 So, with adoption on my heart lately- I revisited the Bible verses we’d held dear as we waited for each of our children from China.  Without forethought or planning, I realized they each contained the word “Hope”. 

Will, my husband, initiated our journey to Ruby nearly 7 years ago and it was a long and winding trip.  We waited 2 ½ years to bring that precious child home and all the while we professed HOPE as in Hebrews 10:23 tells us.

Hebrews 10:23  Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is faithful.

 We knew our God was faithful and therefore we held on and He did not forget us.  Ruby came to us with multiple congenital heart defects and reflux…which God promptly healed…both the reflux AND the CHD!

Anyone who has dipped a toe into the adoption pool knows that it is not for the faint of heart but not much time passed before our hope was renewed and I knew there was another child waiting for us in China…convincing Will was another story but I knew Ruby had a sibling—someone who could share her “story”…and through a turn of events only our gracious and a creative God could have invented…Grady became the next Clark…along with his clubbed feet and wise, old disposition.

Isaiah 40:31 But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Grady has been amazingly healed and no longer hobbles along on twisted feet but runs like the wind…giggling all the way.

As the months passed during Grady’s treatment, my spirit was unsettled.  I prayed and spent many quiet hours with the Lord asking for an answer for what He had in store for our family next.  I waited…and waited.  I thought we had learned all we needed to about patience with the last 2 adoptions.  We figured we were on to another new adventure…we were willing…we were able…but I wasn’t ready for the answer...

To be continued tomorrow...

Be the Change- Guest Post by Pat Marcus

 Pat is a pediatric physical therapist who has traveled to China with Superkids Charity many times.  She is the therapist who met Eliana twice before we adopted her and now twice since we are home.  Thank you, Pat!  The Martin family loves you! 

Following my trip to JiangXi, I've had time to reflect on the children we saw there.  Many have medical needs but are cute as a button, many have very small needs. Some have large medical needs.

They are waiting for the opportunity to blossom in to what they truly are.  Daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, cousins, nieces, grandchildren.  Connected, joined and depended on, expanding families.  They are little miracles waiting for families to open their hearts to them.  When I go to China I have a short time to see these little wonders.  To get a sense of who they are.  What bits of them are so special that I can't wait to tell Waiting adoptive parents about them.  Even in orphanages, children have unique personalities, special likes, dislikes, interests in their limited scope that make them special.  I carry all their specialness in my heart until I can hand each and everyone over to their adoptive parents. These children are all perfect, all special, all amazing, all waiting.  Waiting for the Mom, Dad and family they so deserve.

So on national adoption day, in adoption awareness month, let's go out and help them find homes.  Everyone can do something to assist in this process.  Tell a friend, post to Facebook, write on your blog.  It's simple really, children need homes, we need to help.

For all the parents who have adopted, I celebrate you! The joy of raising a child is unending, and I am sure many of you feel as I do. You get back so much more than you give.  You have all followed the great Gandhi quote "be the change you want to see in the world".

Striving for a productive national adoption month.

Peace,
Pat

Thanks to Erin for posting this. Gladney and I were hit hard by the storm and power problems prevented me from posting.