They Changed Me

You cannot look into their eyes, hold them in your arms, enter in to their world without being changed. You cannot enter in to their stories and then walk away and forget. You just can't. And I really don't want to.

I think of the older boy who said he "couldn't" smile when Gongzhan asked him to. With some time and the help of a bouncing ball he was smiling by the time he left. I think of another boy who loves to draw and drew himself with great attention given to detail. They changed me.

I think of cradling a baby boy who isn't doing well. He does not tolerate his milk for some reason and he is very malnourished. (Yes, we are working on helping him!) You cannot hold a baby in a desperate situation and not be changed by it.

I think of watching Andy's face light up as he learned that he has a family. He has waited so long and has been through so much! And the light in his eyes changed me.

I think of the little boy with the walker and the huge smile singing his heart out for us. He needs a family. He needs someone who will treasure his song and help him know he has no limits. Watching his little face changed me.

I sit here in the comfort of my home. I am so glad to be here, with my children, present in their lives. But my heart is in China too. And I wouldn't change that. They changed my heart, again. They always do. I wouldn't have it any other way.