Showing posts with label Annika. Show all posts

Lebanon Christian Academy {Just Don't}

I've been very reluctant to write this post. I don't leave negative reviews. I don't complain about service. Ok, there was the one time a waitress dragged her very floppy sweater sleeve through my food, I mortified the girls by complaining to her manager, but that was pretty extreme.

But I digress, I'm going to "tell all" about our experiences at Lebanon Christian Academy last year. 

In the 21-22 school year Annika experienced some sexual harassment in public school. It was horrible for her and I felt so much guilt over having exposed her to the situation in the first place. The boys received a slap on the wrist from the school, though we did press charges and they had more consequences after pleading guilty. We decided that finding a good Christian school would at least hopefully expose the girls to less of this type of behavior.



Annika is a confident, beautiful 15-year-old. She doesn't parse or spare her words and largely says what she thinks. She stands up for the underdog and will not allow perceived bullying to take place without saying something. She calls out injustice of any kind every time she hears it. Again, she is a 15-year-old girl who has not yet learned that there can, at times, be more gracious ways of stating things. But I am so proud of her and know she will continue to be a voice for the voiceless.

We chose LCA largely because they had space for both girls. Poor decision. They are associated with a Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church. We did not know much about the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist group then, but we sure have learned since then!



We had difficulties throughout the year. Racism toward Asians has increased exponentially since Covid. Both girls dealt with it because, Annika may look caucasian, but she is proud of her Kazakh heritage and is quick to tell people that she too is part Asian. There were comments such as, "Our dogs are not safe around you because Asians eat dogs." Some of the kids in Eliana's class would say they were speaking the language of her people then do the "Ching chang chong" thing. They pulled their eyes on the corners to make "Chinese eyes" {imagine making fun of her gorgeous almond shaped eyes!} and did so many other stupid things. I spoke with teachers and sent emails, of course.

The final straw, as we were hanging in there white knuckling it to the end of the year, came 2 weeks before the last day. I was returning from a wonderful trip to Georgia when I got a call from Annika requesting to be picked up from school. Here is the story of what happened to her that day. I do not want to share these things, but I do so with her permission in hopes of saving someone else from this type of thing.

Annika started the whole situation by throwing it out there in class that it was a little ironic that Eliana would be playing an orphan in the end of school play since she used to be an orphan. {Annika did not realize that we had already excused Eliana from the play.} This started a discussion about what an orphan is and whether Annika could truly say that she and Eliana used to be orphans. Rather than the teacher shutting this discussion down she joined right in. She sided against Annika and even looked up the definition of orphan and read to the class that an orphan is someone whose parents are deceased.

I'm going to just interject here that children who have been adopted don't always know much about their origin. Are their first parents still living? Why were they placed in an orphanage to begin with? If they identify as an orphan DO NOT ARGUE WITH THEM. If they prefer not to think of themselves as an orphan DO NOT READ DEFINITIONS TO THEM. Just don't! The last thing you want to do is go right to the heart not the most painful part of their story and quibble over minor details.

And if you insist on quibbling please, please get your facts straight.

"Under U.S. immigration law, an orphan is a foreign-born child who:does not have any parents because of the death or disappearance of, abandonment or desertion by, or separation or loss from, both parents." -USCIS website

Anyway, to continue this awful, painful story. Annika acted like it didn't bother her. Because she is a 15-year-old girl. And she did not want them to know that she was dying inside. So the conversation digressed from there until a classmate said, "Hey Annika, did your parents hate you so much that they killed themselves?" At which point Annika requested to go to the principal's office.

I know you are thinking, "Oh good! Let's get this conversation under control!" But no, if you assumed he supported Annika you would be incorrect. He told her, he told her, that if she starts a conversation she has to be prepared to see it through and cannot control where it goes. 

Anyway, Keith picked her up. Later that day he picked up Eliana. They did not go back. We spoke with the principal and, let me tell you, he knew we had our daughters' backs by the end of that meeting!

They agreed to work with us and allow the girls to finish their assignments at home. We were grateful that we did not have to enroll them in a different school for those few days in order for them to officially pass 6th and 9th grades but we would absolutely have done that rather than subjecting them to another day there.

We decide we had to tell. It has taken time to be able to. It's hard. But the girls are doing well. I think they feel protected by the actions we have taken. It was hard to know what to do and we prayed hard about it. My trip home from Georgia was tough. I cried {sorry, seat mate, at least I'll likely never see you again!} quite a bit and prayed even more and had a knot in my stomach until I had my sweet girls in my arms.

If you have adopted children, please don't send them there! If you have children of any race other than caucasian, please don't send them there! Actually, if you have children, please don't send them there! 

I want to state again that all of this was shared with Annika's blessing.

Back to Blogging?

Here is the thing. I like to write. I always have. It feels easier to convey thoughts through writing. And I have so many thoughts. I may be drowning in thoughts right now. So, I'm going to try blogging again. I miss it. I used to blog several times a week plus almost daily for Superkids. Not writing at all doesn't feel right. I may drop it again, I may blog forever. It all remains to be seen.

I guess a little update is in order. Kind of like the Christmas letter, to get everyone caught up on the Martin crew.

We are now 20 months into owning Ebenezer Groceries (I guess business ownership is like a new baby, you count months for the first 2 years) it has been a huge growing experience for us, but it's going well and we are happy to be doing what we are doing. We have built a management team we love, which makes a huge difference in how busy we are on any given day.




Now for the kid updates. Everyone is healthy and doing well if you want to skip the mom brag that is coming.

Douglas & Kayla have been married since the end of July. They are super busy with both of them being in their final semester of nursing school. We are so proud of their dedication and hard work! Not only are they in school, but they both are working. And... (drumroll please!!) they are expecting their first baby in about 4 weeks! Meaning we are going to be PaPa and Nan-Naw Just expect this blog to be over-run with grand baby pictures in about a month.



Freeland is 19 and lives in an apartment in Schaefferstown. He is working with a landscaping crew. I am so happy to see him able to be more active again after his back problems and eventual surgery a year ago. He works out and has worked hard to get his core strength built back up after that set-back. He has always been our active outdoorsman, so it does my heart good to see him back at it.



Casper is 16 and is a junior in high school. He is a sweet kid who loves his dogs and cares for them tirelessly. School work has always come pretty easily for him. He is hoping to go to flight school to become a commercial pilot after he graduates.

Annika is turning 14 next week. She is finishing 8th grade online at home. I enjoy the extra one on one time I have with her while the other kids are at school. She got an early birthday gift this year. His name is Olaf and he is a chinchilla rabbit. We got him from the local animal shelter and he is 5 years old. He is so soft and already pretty snuggly considering that she has only had him for 2 days.




Eliana doesn't love when I call her the baby of the family, but my baby she is and will always be. She is 12 and in 5th grade. She is back to going to school full time and I miss her so much on the days she used to spend at home! She had a hybrid schedule until fairly recently, so we got a bit spoiled. She is still my little cuddle bug most of the time, though she occasionally reminds me that she is 12 and has more important things to do than watching cooking shows with me.




And Keith and I are, let's say mid-40's. He is the one who does most of the buying and numbers stuff for the store while I do the marketing. We make a pretty good team, if I do say so myself. 

And I can't close without telling you about the dogs. 

Bubba is our adorable, spoiled little cockapoo. He has his favorite place on the sofa and whines if someone dares to sit there or put something there. He loves snuggle times and will go part way back the hall then whine for me to come back to snuggle with him and rub his belly on the bed. He recently went to obedience school and is a very good little boy even if he does pout a little at times when he has to do something he doesn't want to.




Thor is our big, goofy Rottweiler. He is absolutely the sweetest, most laid back dog. He loves to be snuggled too and will often push his way in when we are giving Bubba attention. He has a big, mean sounding bark, but would pretty much welcome anyone in and serve tea if he could. He also went to obedience school and is such an obedient good boy. 




So that is about it. The update. And bless you if you made it this far. Anyone who followed my blog in the past knows this is not my normal style. I just had to have a base-line to work off of. 

I'm excited to be back!! <3

P.S. Photos of Casper and Annika coming soon. 

Birthday Party Day for Annika

We don't do a lot of birthday parties. We have done a few through the years. Last year we did a big one for Eliana, but let the other children invite friends too. It has long been one of Annika's wishes to have a real birthday party.



So we just up and plan it and pulled it off. We kept it small, but we tie-dyed shirts and had cupcake and I think it was a smashing success judging by the pictures!




It was one of those good, old-fashioned invite a few friends over for cake and ice cream parties and it reminded me how much fun a few little girls can have together for an afternoon. We played a few games and had a treasure hunt, but mostly they jumped on the trampoline and played outside. It happened that we planned it for one of the few nice days weather-wise recently, so we were very thankful for that!





I believe my sweet girl is turning 11 in style. It is her birth-week and there are more fun things to come.

Summer Days & Sweet Companions

Hot summer days...



Blue skies...



Country roads...



Golden sunlight filtering through the trees...



And sweet companions on an evening stroll...



How blessed am I that I need go no further than HOME to enjoy all of these things?


To My Daughters' Mothers

I do not know you.  I don't know where you live or what you look like.  I wonder how tall you are, what your voice sounds like, and what you enjoy doing.  I do not know you, you do not know me, but we are as intimately connected as women can be.  I do not know so many things about you, but when I hear my daughter's laughter (the most adorable little giggle in the world) I wonder if it is an echo of your laugh. 

When I see how Annika spins and twirls through her days I wonder if her grace comes from you.  Sometimes when she says something it is as if I am speaking, or other times she does something that is just like something her daddy would do.  But then there are times that her grace and beauty catch me off guard and I wonder if I just caught a tiny glimpse of you.  Where did her spunk and independent spirit come from?  I know she learned some things from us, but not all, I'm quite sure not all...  I wish I could tell you how amazing she is and how much we love her. 

And watching my Eliana with her tender little heart I wonder, did it break your heart to need to give her up?  When I see how she so quickly endears herself to everyone who knows her I wonder if you are one of those special, gentle people who leaves a quiet impression on everyone?  When I hear my little girl sing I wonder, did she get that gift from you?  If I could talk to you I would tell you first how much we love her!  I would tell you how she puts her little arms around my neck and squeezes.  I would tell you how she laughs and cheers while she is ice skating and how she begs for ice cream.

I do not even hope to ever meet you, but we will always be connected.  The mothers who carried my daughters, the one who gave them life, and the mother who gets to be their "Mommy".  You have given me an unimaginably beautiful gift and tonight I pray that you somehow feel my enormous gratitude, that you feel a whisper of love and peace in your hearts. We are sisters, joined by bonds stronger than blood, and I love you more than you will ever know!

It Is Party Time! { Texas Trip Part 1 }

To say that my family loves a good excuse to plan a party is an understatement. We certainly got in for lots of partying in this trip.

You see, we arrived on my Papa's 60th birthday.

Papa with a few of his many grandchildren.


Karis giving Grandpa a birthday hug.

This cake actually tasted as good as it looks!

Papa and Josiah.

Jalapeno poppers. YUM!!

Josh keeping an eye on supper.

Levi was very popular among the younger set.

Cousins

Eliana

Then there was my sister-in-law's baby shower.

 

 

The little sweater my mom crocheted.

Do not separate a girl from her punch for
something so silly as a picture!

Offered as proof that I was also there.

And Annika's 6th birthday.

Sleepy birthday girl.

 

 

My Kazakh princess holding up the Kazakh flags she received.


 
Texas trip to be continued...


Five Beautiful Years

Dear Annika,

Five years ago today we met you for the first time.  We were nervous and excited.  We hoped that we would know when we met our child, that the difficulty of choosing would be made easy by the certainty of knowing.  It is very hard to describe what it is like to meet precious children with the question in your mind, "Is this one ours?"  Each child we met was precious, beautiful, and adorable.  Then your nanny brought you into the room. 


You were so tiny.  And so beautiful.  You had huge brown eyes and wispy blond hair. I picked you up and you immediately turned your little head and buried it in my shoulder.  And we knew.  The choosing was suddenly easy.


And now here we are, wondering where the time has gone.  You are getting so big! Sweet girl, I know we have not always done everything right.  But I want you to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we love you, and that we are honored and humbled to be your parents. You have brought us untold joy, little girl! You have added giggles, drama, dancing, and love of pink that we merely dreamed of with only boys in the house!


I pray that as the years continue to flow by you do not lose your confidence, your ability to make friends, your adorable laugh, and your love of twirling.  I pray that Jesus reveals Himself to you more and more and that you do not lose your excitement about and expectation of His return.



Sweetheart, I do not know, and probably never will know, all of the reasons that you needed parents at the exact time that we needed a daughter, but this I know with certainty: God orchestrated the timing of our trip to Kazakhstan.  God whispered to our hearts "She is yours!"  God brought our mutual needs together and is making something beautiful with you as a perfect part of our family! 

After five beautiful years we still love you more every day!

All our love,
Daddy & Mommy


It Isn't Everyday...

These girls get to giggle together!

Sweet cousins.  Both 5.  One lives in Pennsylvania.  One lives in Texas.
But when they get a chance...


They wisely take full advantage of it!


Thank you for spending the day with us Cassie!  We hope to see you again soon when we visit Texas!