Showing posts with label Eliana. Show all posts

Lebanon Christian Academy {Just Don't}

I've been very reluctant to write this post. I don't leave negative reviews. I don't complain about service. Ok, there was the one time a waitress dragged her very floppy sweater sleeve through my food, I mortified the girls by complaining to her manager, but that was pretty extreme.

But I digress, I'm going to "tell all" about our experiences at Lebanon Christian Academy last year. 

In the 21-22 school year Annika experienced some sexual harassment in public school. It was horrible for her and I felt so much guilt over having exposed her to the situation in the first place. The boys received a slap on the wrist from the school, though we did press charges and they had more consequences after pleading guilty. We decided that finding a good Christian school would at least hopefully expose the girls to less of this type of behavior.



Annika is a confident, beautiful 15-year-old. She doesn't parse or spare her words and largely says what she thinks. She stands up for the underdog and will not allow perceived bullying to take place without saying something. She calls out injustice of any kind every time she hears it. Again, she is a 15-year-old girl who has not yet learned that there can, at times, be more gracious ways of stating things. But I am so proud of her and know she will continue to be a voice for the voiceless.

We chose LCA largely because they had space for both girls. Poor decision. They are associated with a Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church. We did not know much about the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist group then, but we sure have learned since then!



We had difficulties throughout the year. Racism toward Asians has increased exponentially since Covid. Both girls dealt with it because, Annika may look caucasian, but she is proud of her Kazakh heritage and is quick to tell people that she too is part Asian. There were comments such as, "Our dogs are not safe around you because Asians eat dogs." Some of the kids in Eliana's class would say they were speaking the language of her people then do the "Ching chang chong" thing. They pulled their eyes on the corners to make "Chinese eyes" {imagine making fun of her gorgeous almond shaped eyes!} and did so many other stupid things. I spoke with teachers and sent emails, of course.

The final straw, as we were hanging in there white knuckling it to the end of the year, came 2 weeks before the last day. I was returning from a wonderful trip to Georgia when I got a call from Annika requesting to be picked up from school. Here is the story of what happened to her that day. I do not want to share these things, but I do so with her permission in hopes of saving someone else from this type of thing.

Annika started the whole situation by throwing it out there in class that it was a little ironic that Eliana would be playing an orphan in the end of school play since she used to be an orphan. {Annika did not realize that we had already excused Eliana from the play.} This started a discussion about what an orphan is and whether Annika could truly say that she and Eliana used to be orphans. Rather than the teacher shutting this discussion down she joined right in. She sided against Annika and even looked up the definition of orphan and read to the class that an orphan is someone whose parents are deceased.

I'm going to just interject here that children who have been adopted don't always know much about their origin. Are their first parents still living? Why were they placed in an orphanage to begin with? If they identify as an orphan DO NOT ARGUE WITH THEM. If they prefer not to think of themselves as an orphan DO NOT READ DEFINITIONS TO THEM. Just don't! The last thing you want to do is go right to the heart not the most painful part of their story and quibble over minor details.

And if you insist on quibbling please, please get your facts straight.

"Under U.S. immigration law, an orphan is a foreign-born child who:does not have any parents because of the death or disappearance of, abandonment or desertion by, or separation or loss from, both parents." -USCIS website

Anyway, to continue this awful, painful story. Annika acted like it didn't bother her. Because she is a 15-year-old girl. And she did not want them to know that she was dying inside. So the conversation digressed from there until a classmate said, "Hey Annika, did your parents hate you so much that they killed themselves?" At which point Annika requested to go to the principal's office.

I know you are thinking, "Oh good! Let's get this conversation under control!" But no, if you assumed he supported Annika you would be incorrect. He told her, he told her, that if she starts a conversation she has to be prepared to see it through and cannot control where it goes. 

Anyway, Keith picked her up. Later that day he picked up Eliana. They did not go back. We spoke with the principal and, let me tell you, he knew we had our daughters' backs by the end of that meeting!

They agreed to work with us and allow the girls to finish their assignments at home. We were grateful that we did not have to enroll them in a different school for those few days in order for them to officially pass 6th and 9th grades but we would absolutely have done that rather than subjecting them to another day there.

We decide we had to tell. It has taken time to be able to. It's hard. But the girls are doing well. I think they feel protected by the actions we have taken. It was hard to know what to do and we prayed hard about it. My trip home from Georgia was tough. I cried {sorry, seat mate, at least I'll likely never see you again!} quite a bit and prayed even more and had a knot in my stomach until I had my sweet girls in my arms.

If you have adopted children, please don't send them there! If you have children of any race other than caucasian, please don't send them there! Actually, if you have children, please don't send them there! 

I want to state again that all of this was shared with Annika's blessing.

Back to Blogging?

Here is the thing. I like to write. I always have. It feels easier to convey thoughts through writing. And I have so many thoughts. I may be drowning in thoughts right now. So, I'm going to try blogging again. I miss it. I used to blog several times a week plus almost daily for Superkids. Not writing at all doesn't feel right. I may drop it again, I may blog forever. It all remains to be seen.

I guess a little update is in order. Kind of like the Christmas letter, to get everyone caught up on the Martin crew.

We are now 20 months into owning Ebenezer Groceries (I guess business ownership is like a new baby, you count months for the first 2 years) it has been a huge growing experience for us, but it's going well and we are happy to be doing what we are doing. We have built a management team we love, which makes a huge difference in how busy we are on any given day.




Now for the kid updates. Everyone is healthy and doing well if you want to skip the mom brag that is coming.

Douglas & Kayla have been married since the end of July. They are super busy with both of them being in their final semester of nursing school. We are so proud of their dedication and hard work! Not only are they in school, but they both are working. And... (drumroll please!!) they are expecting their first baby in about 4 weeks! Meaning we are going to be PaPa and Nan-Naw Just expect this blog to be over-run with grand baby pictures in about a month.



Freeland is 19 and lives in an apartment in Schaefferstown. He is working with a landscaping crew. I am so happy to see him able to be more active again after his back problems and eventual surgery a year ago. He works out and has worked hard to get his core strength built back up after that set-back. He has always been our active outdoorsman, so it does my heart good to see him back at it.



Casper is 16 and is a junior in high school. He is a sweet kid who loves his dogs and cares for them tirelessly. School work has always come pretty easily for him. He is hoping to go to flight school to become a commercial pilot after he graduates.

Annika is turning 14 next week. She is finishing 8th grade online at home. I enjoy the extra one on one time I have with her while the other kids are at school. She got an early birthday gift this year. His name is Olaf and he is a chinchilla rabbit. We got him from the local animal shelter and he is 5 years old. He is so soft and already pretty snuggly considering that she has only had him for 2 days.




Eliana doesn't love when I call her the baby of the family, but my baby she is and will always be. She is 12 and in 5th grade. She is back to going to school full time and I miss her so much on the days she used to spend at home! She had a hybrid schedule until fairly recently, so we got a bit spoiled. She is still my little cuddle bug most of the time, though she occasionally reminds me that she is 12 and has more important things to do than watching cooking shows with me.




And Keith and I are, let's say mid-40's. He is the one who does most of the buying and numbers stuff for the store while I do the marketing. We make a pretty good team, if I do say so myself. 

And I can't close without telling you about the dogs. 

Bubba is our adorable, spoiled little cockapoo. He has his favorite place on the sofa and whines if someone dares to sit there or put something there. He loves snuggle times and will go part way back the hall then whine for me to come back to snuggle with him and rub his belly on the bed. He recently went to obedience school and is a very good little boy even if he does pout a little at times when he has to do something he doesn't want to.




Thor is our big, goofy Rottweiler. He is absolutely the sweetest, most laid back dog. He loves to be snuggled too and will often push his way in when we are giving Bubba attention. He has a big, mean sounding bark, but would pretty much welcome anyone in and serve tea if he could. He also went to obedience school and is such an obedient good boy. 




So that is about it. The update. And bless you if you made it this far. Anyone who followed my blog in the past knows this is not my normal style. I just had to have a base-line to work off of. 

I'm excited to be back!! <3

P.S. Photos of Casper and Annika coming soon. 

Sick-o Sidekick

My little sidekick is sick. She woke up crying on Saturday night and is still not completely better. She has had fevers off and on and a runny nose. But for the most part she doesn't feel terrible.

So we have been hanging out together. She is the last one of our children who still feels better when she is held and cuddled. I know from experience how precious it is and how quickly that changes, so I have been holding her all I can.



I remember the days of sick babies, when it seemed like there was never enough of me to go around. The younger me would never have believed that I now make up reasons to hold my sick 9 year old just a little longer. But I do.

This girl of mine enjoys it just as much as I do. You see, she remembers a time when she didn't have a Mommy to hold her when she was sick. It is as if we both recognize how precious the moments are. Perhaps we are both "wise beyond our years" thanks to the hard things we have experienced. She in the loss she experienced so early in life, I with the loss of health and strength.

It makes sick days holy days of togetherness and healing. There is nothing like rocking and being rocked to solidify relationships and satisfy the deepest needs of the rocked and rocker alike.

I don't want her to be sick. But I'm not quite ready for her to be well yet either. Though I must say, we do pretty well with cuddling even on the not-sick days.

Brought to You by the Letter 'B'

B-b-b back to school! We started yesterday.   Eliana is starting kindergarten, Annika is in 1st grade, Casper in 4th, Freeland in 6th, and Douglas in 9th.  We also have 2 extra girls living with us for a little while.  They are both 14 and both still learning English having come to the US from China less than a year ago.  Our little classroom is full to overflowing and the teacher/mama is pretty well shot by the end of the day!  But we have had good days and look forward to the year!

B-b-b bumps in the night.  You know how I said this mama has been a little tired by the end of the day?  Well, after a certain 5 year old crawled into bed beside me for the third time last night I gave up on putting her back in her bed and turned over and went back to sleep.  Around 4:30ish there was a loud bump as said 5 year old fell off of our rather high bed.  Thankfully, I am an awesome housekeeper and there was NOT a laundry basket full of unfolded clothes setting beside the bed.  That could have really hurt her, you know, if she had hit a laundry basket! Ahem, anyway... She cried quite a lot but I just hauled her back up and groggily told her to be quiet and go back to sleep, which she did fairly quickly.



Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning and realized said 5 year old had a B-b-b busted lip!  It is all bloody and swollen and looks terrible.  I just might win the Worst Mom of the Year Award over that one!  I told my baby to be quiet and go back to sleep when she was battered and bleeding!

So... what are your most stellar parenting moments this week?!

Happy Birthday, El-l-lia-ana...

Happy birthday to you!


 

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Summer Days & Sweet Companions

Hot summer days...



Blue skies...



Country roads...



Golden sunlight filtering through the trees...



And sweet companions on an evening stroll...



How blessed am I that I need go no further than HOME to enjoy all of these things?


Single Digits, Visas, and a New Old Picture

NINE DAYS!! In nine days I leave for China. We have hit the single digits until departure phase of this journey, folks and I am getting more excited every day! I have suitcases in my bedroom and things are being added and my 'packing pile' is disappearing. As I promise to take more things such as packages for waiting children, special bottles for babies with cleft palates, etc. I begin to wonder how much clothing I will actually have room for. I may end up doing a lot of washing in the hotel sink and hoping it dries by morning! If I look a little damp and disheveled in all the pictures y'all have some grace, okay? Just remember that there are more important things than clothes!

On that note, guess what arrived at my house via FedEx today? My visa! Which means they will actually let me in the country when I get there! Woo! I always feel better when I have my passport back in my hands with the visa in it. It is so fun to flip through and see the different visas in there. Kazakhstan, China, Russia, now another one for China. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunities I've had. Every one of those trips are/were adoption or orphan related and I really marvel at the way God has called us to this ministry and how it has left such a deep impression on our lives!

Of course I've been thinking a lot about visiting the Shanghai CWI again and thinking about the time Eliana spent there. It is so hard to imagine a life without her or that we did not always belong to one another! You mean I existed without her and she lived somewhere else? No way! But she did. For 3 1/2 years she did. We don't know a lot about those years and we don't have a lot of pictures of her in that time period, so when another Shanghai mom recently posted some pictures of Shanghai kiddos we were so excited to see this one!

Eliana when she was still Wu Xing Yao!
I just read an article about one of the orphanages we plan to visit while in China. You can read it here. It is a fascinating read!

This is the last week to be entered in the iPad mini raffle/fundraiser. You can read the details here.  The drawing will be on Saturday evening and it is going to be fun! :)

All About Eliana

This morning we decided to take breakfast to a nearby lake and then let the boys fish while the girls and I took pictures, walked, and played on the playground.

It was a gorgeous morning after yesterday's rain. The sky was so blue and the clouds were so white!


This bench overlooks the lake. I spend hours sitting here reading and dreaming and praying... in my imagination...



Generally speaking it is very easy to take photos of Annika. She is photogenic and cooperative and it is always fun. But this morning this little girl decided it was her turn to be the easy one...






And I'm pretty glad she did...



The New Purse { Wordless Wednesday }


{ I think she likes it! }

I'm linking this post to Wordless Wednesday over at 5 Minutes for Mom.

To My Daughters' Mothers

I do not know you.  I don't know where you live or what you look like.  I wonder how tall you are, what your voice sounds like, and what you enjoy doing.  I do not know you, you do not know me, but we are as intimately connected as women can be.  I do not know so many things about you, but when I hear my daughter's laughter (the most adorable little giggle in the world) I wonder if it is an echo of your laugh. 

When I see how Annika spins and twirls through her days I wonder if her grace comes from you.  Sometimes when she says something it is as if I am speaking, or other times she does something that is just like something her daddy would do.  But then there are times that her grace and beauty catch me off guard and I wonder if I just caught a tiny glimpse of you.  Where did her spunk and independent spirit come from?  I know she learned some things from us, but not all, I'm quite sure not all...  I wish I could tell you how amazing she is and how much we love her. 

And watching my Eliana with her tender little heart I wonder, did it break your heart to need to give her up?  When I see how she so quickly endears herself to everyone who knows her I wonder if you are one of those special, gentle people who leaves a quiet impression on everyone?  When I hear my little girl sing I wonder, did she get that gift from you?  If I could talk to you I would tell you first how much we love her!  I would tell you how she puts her little arms around my neck and squeezes.  I would tell you how she laughs and cheers while she is ice skating and how she begs for ice cream.

I do not even hope to ever meet you, but we will always be connected.  The mothers who carried my daughters, the one who gave them life, and the mother who gets to be their "Mommy".  You have given me an unimaginably beautiful gift and tonight I pray that you somehow feel my enormous gratitude, that you feel a whisper of love and peace in your hearts. We are sisters, joined by bonds stronger than blood, and I love you more than you will ever know!

Sometimes Right in the Middle of an Ordinary Day...


I know my blog has been quiet recently.  I'm still trying to eradicate the nasty pneumonia bugs that attacked me the other week.  Somehow there doesn't seem to be a lot to blog about when day after day is spent in utter exhaustion from the slightest exertion.

But sometimes you don't have to go any further than the recliner to see beauty, sometimes right in the middle of an ordinary day...



 

 
 



Your little daughter walks in, sits down, and makes your heart sing with her innocent delight in lotion and chap stick.

My Sunshine{s}

My perspective is a bit limited right now.  I can look at the ceiling or I can turn my head a bit and look across the living room.  A few times a day I make a necessary journey to the restroom.  At night I go all the way back the hall to crawl into bed.  And that would be about it except...


I have these lovely ladies to twirl and swirl through my line of vision...


Smiling...



And making me smile!

Even pneumonia doesn't seem unbearable with such sweet entertainment!



Today I Am Thankful...

For a mother in Kazakhstan and a mother in China who chose LIFE and HOPE for their baby girls.

My girls.  (This was taken in October)
I do not know their stories, I do not know what their hopes and dreams and fears were (and probably are) for their little daughters.  I do not know what circumstances made them decide that they could not parent their daughters.  But I do know that abortions are easy to obtain in both Kazakhstan and China.  I do know that they chose to carry their babies and to give birth and to be sure that they were left in a place of safety.  And for that I am forever grateful.