I Just Want To Say Thank You

All photos were taken at my brother's wedding in April.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I plan to enjoy my day to the fullest. I have some of the best children ever and my position as their mom is one of the things I enjoy most in this world.

I look at my sons, now taller than I or almost as tall, and I feel so much gratitude. They are so kind and caring toward me. I do not doubt their love and devotion, because they prove it in so many little ways every day. Having a mom with a chronic pain syndrome is not easy, but these boys never complain. They are respectful, smart, funny, and polite. I enjoy conversations with each of them, reveling in hearing their perspectives on life. They are like Keith and I in so many ways, and yet they each have a unique personality.

Casper, Freeland, and Javon (cousin)
And then there are my daughters. Oh my, these little girls of mine. They are so different. They are so amazing in such different ways.

Annika is so independent and capable. She is a natural leader, confident and self-possessed. She is graceful and artistic. And I look at her and see a reflection of our family, but I also see the things we did not give her. Her incredible natural beauty, her grace and athletic ability, her ability to make friends so quickly and easily. Those things come from a family we do not know. I wish they could see her now. Their beautiful brown eyed baby girl has turned into a wonderful ten year old.

Eliana! Sweet, sensitive, cuddly, with a deepness to those black eyes of hers that belie her easy going silliness. Sometimes her responses tell you that she has experienced more brokenness than most adults have ever, or will ever, experience. But most of the time you only see her sweetness. She is quick to forgive and hates to see anyone in pain of any kind. I wonder if her birth family is as sensitive as she is? Does she get that from her birth mom or dad? Are they both petite? Where does she get that little dimple from? And again, I wish they could see her. I wish they knew that she is safe and so very loved!

I look at all of them, these children of mine, and my heart is so full of gratitude. Gratitude for my strong, healthy sons, it could have been so different. Gratitude for the doctors and nurses that cared for Freeland and Casper when they were too small for us to be able to meet their needs. Gratitude for the birth families of the girls, their loss was certainly our gain and I am thankful for the life they chose for these beautiful girls.

And most of all gratitude to God who took two very young, and maybe foolish people and blessed them in unimaginable ways. He gave us our sons and He led us to our daughters, He melded our hearts together and made us a family.

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