To My Son On His First Father's Day

Dear Douglas,

Happy Father's Day! Can I just say that watching you take on the role of Daddy to my granddaughter is one of the greatest joys of my life thus far? No one warns you of the exquisite push and pull of joy and pain as you watch your children grow into the amazing people you knew they could become. The joys are obvious. The pain is elusive, lurking there, reminding you that you cannot protect them like you once could, that they don't need you like they once did, that they will never be a part of your day-in-day-out life like they were for so many years.

You have always been precocious, doing, seeing, and understanding things sooner than expected. It should not be a surprise that you are K. Douglas Martin, BSN; a husband, a father, and pursuing your dream career at the age of {barely} 22. You were never one to sit and watch the world go by.

I can only hope that Riley brings you as much joy as you have brought to me through the years. Being a parent isn't easy, as you have already discovered. And I can't really tell you it gets easier, because it doesn't. But the pleasure far outweighs the difficulty in each stage. For you, right now, the pleasure is winning the rare and fleeting 5-week-old baby smiles. For me it is watching you become a caring parent.

That precious little girl of yours will challenge you in ways no one else can or will. She will make you laugh, she will make you cry. Don't be afraid of either. She will make you change your ideals on some issues, and that is OK. God knows you have done so with Dad and me! 

Children have a way of reminding us to laugh and to play. Life comes with lots of pressures, but you owe it to her to bear those for her and allow her to grow up in a carefree environment. It's part of the job of parenting and one of the areas I hope you are stronger in than I was. Kids are fun and like to have fun. Some of my best memories of my dad from my childhood are the simple, everyday things that he did to have fun with us. Don't forget to do the little things. Little things are the big things in the end.

It is strange watching the years roll by. This day used to be all about Grandpa Sams. Then it was about Dad. Now it is your turn. You come from a line of good, strong men. I could not be more proud to watch you take your place among the good dads.