To My Son On His First Father's Day

Dear Douglas,

Happy Father's Day! Can I just say that watching you take on the role of Daddy to my granddaughter is one of the greatest joys of my life thus far? No one warns you of the exquisite push and pull of joy and pain as you watch your children grow into the amazing people you knew they could become. The joys are obvious. The pain is elusive, lurking there, reminding you that you cannot protect them like you once could, that they don't need you like they once did, that they will never be a part of your day-in-day-out life like they were for so many years.

You have always been precocious, doing, seeing, and understanding things sooner than expected. It should not be a surprise that you are K. Douglas Martin, BSN; a husband, a father, and pursuing your dream career at the age of {barely} 22. You were never one to sit and watch the world go by.

I can only hope that Riley brings you as much joy as you have brought to me through the years. Being a parent isn't easy, as you have already discovered. And I can't really tell you it gets easier, because it doesn't. But the pleasure far outweighs the difficulty in each stage. For you, right now, the pleasure is winning the rare and fleeting 5-week-old baby smiles. For me it is watching you become a caring parent.

That precious little girl of yours will challenge you in ways no one else can or will. She will make you laugh, she will make you cry. Don't be afraid of either. She will make you change your ideals on some issues, and that is OK. God knows you have done so with Dad and me! 

Children have a way of reminding us to laugh and to play. Life comes with lots of pressures, but you owe it to her to bear those for her and allow her to grow up in a carefree environment. It's part of the job of parenting and one of the areas I hope you are stronger in than I was. Kids are fun and like to have fun. Some of my best memories of my dad from my childhood are the simple, everyday things that he did to have fun with us. Don't forget to do the little things. Little things are the big things in the end.

It is strange watching the years roll by. This day used to be all about Grandpa Sams. Then it was about Dad. Now it is your turn. You come from a line of good, strong men. I could not be more proud to watch you take your place among the good dads.

To My Daughters' Mothers

I do not know you.  I don't know where you live or what you look like.  I wonder how tall you are, what your voice sounds like, and what you enjoy doing.  I do not know you, you do not know me, but we are as intimately connected as women can be.  I do not know so many things about you, but when I hear my daughter's laughter (the most adorable little giggle in the world) I wonder if it is an echo of your laugh. 

When I see how Annika spins and twirls through her days I wonder if her grace comes from you.  Sometimes when she says something it is as if I am speaking, or other times she does something that is just like something her daddy would do.  But then there are times that her grace and beauty catch me off guard and I wonder if I just caught a tiny glimpse of you.  Where did her spunk and independent spirit come from?  I know she learned some things from us, but not all, I'm quite sure not all...  I wish I could tell you how amazing she is and how much we love her. 

And watching my Eliana with her tender little heart I wonder, did it break your heart to need to give her up?  When I see how she so quickly endears herself to everyone who knows her I wonder if you are one of those special, gentle people who leaves a quiet impression on everyone?  When I hear my little girl sing I wonder, did she get that gift from you?  If I could talk to you I would tell you first how much we love her!  I would tell you how she puts her little arms around my neck and squeezes.  I would tell you how she laughs and cheers while she is ice skating and how she begs for ice cream.

I do not even hope to ever meet you, but we will always be connected.  The mothers who carried my daughters, the one who gave them life, and the mother who gets to be their "Mommy".  You have given me an unimaginably beautiful gift and tonight I pray that you somehow feel my enormous gratitude, that you feel a whisper of love and peace in your hearts. We are sisters, joined by bonds stronger than blood, and I love you more than you will ever know!

{in}couragement for Mothers { Session 2 }

Back in October I took a step of faith and I was really nervous about it!  I felt very much like I was standing here not quite fully clothed asking you to join a group for Christian mothers.  I did not know what to expect.  But you came, you joined the group, and you have been such a blessing to me!

And now it is time for another session to begin.  What is it all about you say?  Well, quite a few months ago some ladies over here at {in}courage started praying about the idea of forming smaller community groups for women.  They asked ladies to fill out a questionnaire if they wanted to be a co-leader of one of these groups.  About the same time I was praying about how I could be an encouragement to other women.  So I filled out the questionnaire and thus I became a co-leader of a group specifically for encouraging Christian mothers.

I'd like to tell you a little about our group.  We are a group of women who face all the normal pressures of life.  Some of us work away from home, others are stay at home moms.  Some of us homeschool, others do not.  Some of us have large families, others are expecting their first child.  Some of us have adopted children, some have biological children, and some have both.  So there is a lot of variety.

But we have even more in common!  We all love God and want to follow Him with abandon.  We all need a safe place.  A place where we are loved and shown compassion.  A place where we can request prayer and pray for others.  We all love our children dearly and want what is best for them.    We all have days that seem overwhelming.  And we all need love, God's love, and love from each other.

We "meet" in the comfy virtual living room setting of a closed Facebook group.  It is a closed group, so the things shared there stay there and do not show up in news feeds or anything like that.

So... here we are at the beginning of another session.  And we are inviting you to join us.  This session I will be co-leading with Joy Altman.  She is a dear friend and I am so thankful to have her joining me this session.

If this type of group sounds like something that would be a blessing to you then please send me a friend request on Facebook here and I will add you to the group.

Once you are added please introduce yourself to the group!  We will welcome you with open arms!

Saturday Evening Musings...

Today was the day to make my annual trek in search of the perfect Christmas dress fabric.  There is only one requirement (besides that I have to love it:) it has to have snowflakes on it. Each year since Annika has been home (This is the first year that I have two Christmas dresses to make!)  I have made this trek.  Most years I am joined by my friend, Janelle.  So I sent her an impromptu text this morning and off we went to Lancaster County to where all the little quilt fabric shops are!  And... success was ours again this year.  I am so thankful for these sweet traditions!

Keith kept everyone except Eliana.  I rarely only have one little person that I am responsible for and it was so fun to spend time with her like this!  I love to tell her that she is a good girl and hear her unfailing response, "Me?!"  it warms my heart every time.

When I got home everyone was hard at work!

Casper raking leaves...

  Keith cutting up a tree that had fallen...

Freeland mowing...

I failed to get a picture of Douglas working, but here is a picture of his bedroom as seen from outside I figure it works as evidence that he does work sometimes :)...

And here are the girls sitting at their little table coloring.  I found the table at a children's consignment shop yesterday and they have put it to good use already!

We had chili for supper, it was the first time we tried this recipe and it is definitely a keeper!  It had been simmering in the crockpot all day while I was shopping.  When supper was over and all of the little people bathed we sat in the living room together reading, blogging, playing... And I looked around at this family that God has blessed me with and my heart was full to over flowing with gratitude.  It was such an ordinary day.  Such a miraculous, ordinary day!

Funk Cure

So I've been in a bit of a funk this week.  Not that I really have good reason to be,  but sometimes life feels heavy and it is hard to shake that feeling off.  Little things pile up, sad news catches you off guard, responsibilities are ever present and down you spiral. Sometimes you have to be pro-active.  You have to shake yourself out of it.  You have to get out and do something about it!

So... we did. We walked the 1.2 miles to Dollar General. We bought a few things.  We stopped at McDonald's and got a little lunch.  We walked home again. 

What!? You don't think that sounds fun!?  Just wait til I show you...

Setting out...

Casper was the official purse carrier.  It kept kind of slipping...

You can see the yellow Dollar General sign in the distance.

A little challenge along the way.

Mine.  Freeland kept stealing it when I took pictures of the others.

One of us thought this very, very funny!

Beautiful!

Getting a little tired on the way home.

Toliver , who had proudly decimated a sponge in our absence, was so glad to see us when we got home! 

this day is a gift


you will never have this day with your children again.

 

tomorrow, they'll be a little older than they were today.

 

 

this day is a gift,

 

breathe and notice;

smell and touch them

study their faces, and little feet

and pay attention.

relish the charms of the present.

enjoy today, mama.

it will be over before you know it.

-jen hatmaker