A Tale of Two Boys {Part 2}

I feel like you need to understand my journey in order for me to actually communicate what I want to say, so I'm going to tell you some of my thoughts and struggles. It seems the children that we see in Taiwan are happy where they are. They are well cared for, they have people who care about them. So is it truly in their best interest to find a family in America for them? I wrestled with this, not for the younger children so much, but for the older ones it is only right to think about these things.

I watched as someone showed caregivers pictures of a child who had been adopted months before and I watched them smile at the adorable pictures, happy for the good family he was in... and it struck me, the children are cared about, no question. But they deserve to be the center of someone's universe. They need to be so important to someone that that person's world would shatter without them in it. That is what is missing.

Even older children need that. I think of my boys. Casper will be 13 tomorrow. Freeland is 16. Douglas is 18. They still need us. They need us in a different way than little ones do, but I try to imagine them navigating the teenage years and launching out on their own without the steadfast love of parents and family and I can't do it.

So, with all of that background I want to tell you about two boys.

Here they are. Taiwan has privacy laws that prohibit the sharing of a child's full face.

They are not biologically related, but they feel like brothers and they want to be adopted together. What are the chances? They are 9 and 11 years old.

Anderson is 11. He has experienced some things in life that make him fearful and he lacks self confidence. He wants a family, he wants to belong. But he feels much more confident when he is with Morgan. Morgan is 9 and is good at math. He is a quiet kid. They are in the same foster home. They belong together.

They belong together and they deserve to be loved like my boys are loved. Do you see the difficulty here? Do you see why my heart has been heavy since I got home from Taiwan? Do you feel the burden I feel?

Could you possibly be the family for these boys? Or maybe you know someone who could be the perfect fit. It isn't easy to find families open to older boys. And especially not two older boys at once. But I am going to try.

They deserve that I try.

I am praying that I am going to write a part 3 to this tale telling you their family found them. Will you help me make that a reality?

If you want information about Anderson and Morgan email Mary Chapman at mary.chapman@gladney.org.

Happy Birthday, Freeland!

I will get back to my post about the boys I met in Taiwan, but today is all about Freeland.

This morning

This boy, this quirky, funny, risk-loving son of ours turns 16 today. For him that means getting his driving permit and one step closer to independence. For me it means that 16 years have disappeared into thin air.

At about 1 week old.

I know everyone says it, but wasn't it just yesterday that our tiny son was born at 32 weeks? I'll never forget that first day, seeing him in the NICU, the tiniest baby I had ever seen at that time.

And, at times the days have seemed long. So long. But the years... how can they be this short?

age 4

This sweet boy loves his dog. He loves basketball and doing things with friends. He is outgoing and likes to be busy, but he does love a good cozy afternoon at home too.

In the evenings, after the girls go to bed, he heads straight to our bedroom where he, Casper, and I watch different series together. Or sometimes we just talk and laugh. We have had some of the best jokes and conversations in those times. I know I will always cherish those memories and hope that he will too.

He works at Chick-Fil-A on Saturdays right now. He doesn't love doing jobs around the house, but apparently he does know how to work well because we get great feedback from his managers.

Age 12 

Tomorrow we are going to go let him take his written test for his driving learners permit. He has been studying so I think he will do fine. And then, oh God watch over us. This reckless child of mine will begin to learn to drive.

There is no way I can put into words the way I love this boy. Happy birthday, son. May God be near to you in the coming year.

A Tale of Two Boys {Part 1}

You all know that I went to Taiwan in November. This was my third time to travel to Taiwan with Superkids. I haven't talked about my trips there much. It has been an emotionally conflicting  subject for me.

This gorgeous child from Taiwan now has a family.

The organizations we visit in Taiwan are different from the orphanages we visit in China. Not in a good way, not in a bad way, just different. Right now, due to some changes in China, we are not able to visit orphanages. Naturally this makes me sad. I love China. I love the kids I know there.

You may not think Taiwan would be that different from China, but it is a totally different program with different guidelines and a different timeline. In order to be a good advocate for children from a specific country you need to understand the way adoptions work in that country. At one point it made me feel tired just to think about learning everything I needed to know to really throw myself into advocacy for children from Taiwan.

A bridge near one of the orphanages we visit in Taiwan.

I am not the type of person who can have a door right in front of me and not step through {shocker, I know}. So I started asking questions and learning.

I know that none of this seems to have anything to do with two boys, but I need to share the background before I can move on. I'm getting there...

Our youngest man-child last summer at the bay.

I started out as a boy mom, having three sons first. I love being a boy mom! I love that these big, taller-than-me boy-men are still my little boys. I love these teenage years. When they were all little, I couldn't imagine them being this size. I had no idea that parenting teenage boys would be this amazing and this difficult. I also didn't foresee how much the man-children would still need their parents.

So when I meet older boys in orphanages the ones who tug at my hearts the most are the ones who remind me of my sons...

I feel like this is getting too long. And I need you all to actually hear the story of these two boys. So I'm going to stop here and continue this post tomorrow. Please come back. I need to share this with you...