Why We Do What We Do {Modesty}

One of the best known Bible verses on modesty is 1 Timothy 2:9 which states:

"I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

I believe that modesty in dress sends a message of purity and honor. It puts the emphasis where it belongs, on the real person, rather than on outward attractiveness. There is a depth of character in all of us that rises above what people see when they look at us. When I dress modestly, I am requesting that people see and value me for who I am. It frees me from the social expectations of fashion to really be myself. 

And I am a Christian women. I believe people know that when they look at me. And hopefully they only have that confirmed as they learn to know me.

But here is the problem. Again, this beautiful, freeing teaching on modesty can become so distorted and legalistic. When we begin prescribing exact lengths, patterns, and colors we lose the beauty and dignity and are left with the "how close to the line can I get and still be okay?" mentality.  The focus again becomes on the clothing when God is asking us to dress in such a way that the clothing itself is not the focus.

Now, I know that modesty looks very different for different families. In our family the girls and I only wear skirts or dresses. Part of our reason for doing this stems from this verse: " A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing..." (Deuteromony 22:5) I know, we live in a unisex culture, but I believe God made men and women with certain distinctions. And I believe it honors Him when we recognize those distinctions. 

I haven't always worn only skirts or dresses. I was about 14 when my family made this change. I remember it well. It seemed so strange to do everything in a dress! I mean, who feeds cows in a  dress?! But it is amazing how quickly I realized that it was actually quite doable. And quite comfortable. And, contrary to what many believe, even quite practical. 

One of my favorite definitions of modesty is: "Modesty is humility in clothing."

I often think that people assume we dress the way we do because we are part of a Mennonite church, but the fact is, for me, dressing modestly and wearing a head covering preceded joining a Mennonite church. My family was convicted to make these changes simply by reading the Bible. And I carry these convictions in my heart. 

Here are a few practical points on modesty: 

1. If it is difficult to get into or out of, it is probably not modest.
2. If you have to be careful when sitting down or bending over, it probably isn't modest.
3. If people look at another part of your body before looking at your face, it probably isn't modest.
4. If it accentuates your most private body parts, it probably isn't modest.
(my summary of a list written by Michael Hyatt)

For me, dressing in skirts and dresses makes me feel feminine and free from all social expectations. It frees me to be the woman I want to be. It directs people's attention to God and God's work in my life. That is why I dress in the way that I do.