Kauai, Hawaii Tunnels Beach

I have to blog about this trip. I just have to. It gives me that place to return to where all of the memories are captured in real time. That is priceless. And I like blogging. I miss doing it. So I'll blog the trip then see where we go from there.

Yesterday was a loooong day of travel. We had two 6.5 hour flights plus a 5 hour layover in Seattle. By the time we got to our Airbnb we were exhausted and ready to sleep. And we did. I wasn't sure how everyone would handle the 6 hour time difference, but they all slept and have been busy all day today so I do not think it's going to be a problem for anyone.

We are staying in the Lae Nani Resort in an apartment that is rented out as an Airbnb. It's a great place. It is perfect for us. We can walk down to the beach and see it from our balcony. I'm planning to sit out there with a cup of coffee tomorrow morning. There is a huge salt water pool, where the kids are swimming and relaxing right now.

This morning I knew I needed to start the day with an aćai bowl. I mean, I'm in Hawaii. Do I even have a choice? So we stopped at this great little place. Annika and I tried out their {{amazing}} aćai bowls while the others ate bagel sandwiches and pancakes. 

Then we followed the winding road north as far as it would take us before parking in a questionably legal spot and heading to the water. The color of that water! It's hard to describe and absolutely nothing is as amazing as seeing it in person.

There were sea turtles we could see as the waves rolled in. And they would sometimes stick their heads up out of the water.The water is so clear that it was easy to see them just riding the waves.

Everywhere we look there are gorgeous flowers and exotic plants... oh, and chickens. Chickens are just strolling around wild everywhere. I have some pictures of chickens strolling the sidewalks in China so I told the kids I'm going to start a "chickens of the world" album.

I'm ready for bed early tonight. Ok, Ok, I'm ready for bed early every night. But tonight is no exception. Tomorrow is another gorgeous and busy day on the island!

To My Son On His First Father's Day

Dear Douglas,

Happy Father's Day! Can I just say that watching you take on the role of Daddy to my granddaughter is one of the greatest joys of my life thus far? No one warns you of the exquisite push and pull of joy and pain as you watch your children grow into the amazing people you knew they could become. The joys are obvious. The pain is elusive, lurking there, reminding you that you cannot protect them like you once could, that they don't need you like they once did, that they will never be a part of your day-in-day-out life like they were for so many years.

You have always been precocious, doing, seeing, and understanding things sooner than expected. It should not be a surprise that you are K. Douglas Martin, BSN; a husband, a father, and pursuing your dream career at the age of {barely} 22. You were never one to sit and watch the world go by.

I can only hope that Riley brings you as much joy as you have brought to me through the years. Being a parent isn't easy, as you have already discovered. And I can't really tell you it gets easier, because it doesn't. But the pleasure far outweighs the difficulty in each stage. For you, right now, the pleasure is winning the rare and fleeting 5-week-old baby smiles. For me it is watching you become a caring parent.

That precious little girl of yours will challenge you in ways no one else can or will. She will make you laugh, she will make you cry. Don't be afraid of either. She will make you change your ideals on some issues, and that is OK. God knows you have done so with Dad and me! 

Children have a way of reminding us to laugh and to play. Life comes with lots of pressures, but you owe it to her to bear those for her and allow her to grow up in a carefree environment. It's part of the job of parenting and one of the areas I hope you are stronger in than I was. Kids are fun and like to have fun. Some of my best memories of my dad from my childhood are the simple, everyday things that he did to have fun with us. Don't forget to do the little things. Little things are the big things in the end.

It is strange watching the years roll by. This day used to be all about Grandpa Sams. Then it was about Dad. Now it is your turn. You come from a line of good, strong men. I could not be more proud to watch you take your place among the good dads.

Georgia - Geeeooorrrgia...

It's been a month, but I still want to capture this here where I will know where to find it, so this will be a bit of a catching up post.

I used to live in Georgia. As a matter of fact, I have often said it was my favorite place I've ever lived. Some of that was because of the culture, some was because of the people I knew there. We moved away when I was 18. It was a decision my parents made based on church preferences and I left kicking and screaming. I think literally. Or at least I know I cried most of the way from Georgia to Texas. I'll skip over the next few years, but my heart was often sad and I cried in my bed many nights over disrupted relationships that were inevitable due to the church situation we were in then.

Life moved on and I mostly lost touch with the people I had known and loved in Georgia. I often dreamed of returning. But, you know how it is, months flow into years and there are always things demanding your attention. Not to mention that the awkwardness of how I left still lingered in my mind.

I reached out to one friend, my closest friend back in the day, Laura to see if it would work to see her and her family if we traveled to the area over spring break. Her response was fast and overwhelming. In essence, "Yes! Please come! Stay with us! I have dreamed of this..." From that point the trip took on a life of its own. It was sweet and amazing. I cried a lot as I remembered and came to grips with... all of it. Keith and the kids were sweet even though, in typical Erin fashion, I had not told them much about any of it.

We stayed with Laura's family. We sat and visited for hours. She has this beautiful house with a big front porch. We sat out on the swing and talked. I can't say we picked up where we left off because the difference between 18 years old and 45 years old is too great for that. But I can say we reconnected in a new and deeper way. We have raised families, faced pain and hardship, and changed in so many ways. There were funny little things: we not only drive the same vehicle, the ones before these were also the same. There were the really meaningful things: we grieved similarly when our oldest children left home, we both work with our husbands and know the stresses and joys that entails. 

We also saw others while we were there. We shared meals with people, stopped in for short visits, and even walked through the church we went to there. This was the church where I was baptized and joined the Mennonites. People were overwhelmingly kind. Even as I fumbled through the apologies I felt I needed to make, even as I cried and stepped into the awkward. I felt accepted and loved. And it was good.

 

We even got to walk through the house my family lived in when we lived there. We had moved 2 houses onto land and put them together. Now someone we knew, who was just a little girl back then, lives there with her husband and 4 boys. It has changed so much, but was still so much the same. 

The whole experience was... I don't even know how to put it into words... it was amazing, and life giving, it closed circles and opened possibilities. I'm just overwhelmingly grateful for a second chance at friendship with some very special people.