A Tale of Two Boys {Part 1}

You all know that I went to Taiwan in November. This was my third time to travel to Taiwan with Superkids. I haven't talked about my trips there much. It has been an emotionally conflicting  subject for me.

This gorgeous child from Taiwan now has a family.

The organizations we visit in Taiwan are different from the orphanages we visit in China. Not in a good way, not in a bad way, just different. Right now, due to some changes in China, we are not able to visit orphanages. Naturally this makes me sad. I love China. I love the kids I know there.

You may not think Taiwan would be that different from China, but it is a totally different program with different guidelines and a different timeline. In order to be a good advocate for children from a specific country you need to understand the way adoptions work in that country. At one point it made me feel tired just to think about learning everything I needed to know to really throw myself into advocacy for children from Taiwan.

A bridge near one of the orphanages we visit in Taiwan.

I am not the type of person who can have a door right in front of me and not step through {shocker, I know}. So I started asking questions and learning.

I know that none of this seems to have anything to do with two boys, but I need to share the background before I can move on. I'm getting there...

Our youngest man-child last summer at the bay.

I started out as a boy mom, having three sons first. I love being a boy mom! I love that these big, taller-than-me boy-men are still my little boys. I love these teenage years. When they were all little, I couldn't imagine them being this size. I had no idea that parenting teenage boys would be this amazing and this difficult. I also didn't foresee how much the man-children would still need their parents.

So when I meet older boys in orphanages the ones who tug at my hearts the most are the ones who remind me of my sons...

I feel like this is getting too long. And I need you all to actually hear the story of these two boys. So I'm going to stop here and continue this post tomorrow. Please come back. I need to share this with you...

Early Dismissal

We got up and got everyone out the door today in decent time. The kids each have jobs they are supposed to get done before they leave in the mornings, which were far from done, but we made it down the lane in time to get on the bus, so I call that a win.

This kid is on winter break right now and enjoyed it to the fullest today!

Anyway, I feel like I've been behind and trying to play catch up with my Superkids work since, oh, the beginning of November or so. So I dug right in, ignoring the dishes on the counter and laundry on the floor. Somewhere between finishing a video and editing the rest of the pictures for the new children we met in Taiwan on our last trip, I got an email from the school announcing an early dismissal time due to weather.

Timber was thrilled to grab a sandwich from an un-eaten lunch.

He guarded it on his bed for awhile, but got hungry for a little snack eventually.

Since I hadn't even checked the weather or looked out the window I was shocked to realize that it was sleeting and snowing. I looked around and devised a plan. I'm not going to spell it out for you in detail, but the main components were child labor and bribery.

The house looks better now. Not great, but better. And we all piled on the bed together for a while and watched Psych. It is how I bribe them, but the reality is that it is my favorite thing to do. It is a queen size bed. And there were five of us. I think that equals about 2.5 inches each or something like that. Especially since we all need pillows and blankets. It is the best!

Now we have lasagna in the oven and I'm already secretly hoping for a delayed school start time in the morning...

Word of the Year

I've done this before. In 2013 and 2014 I chose a word for the year. I like having a goal for improvement tucked away in my mind. Choosing a word to focus on for a year works better for me than resolutions. It just sort of hangs there in my mind providing a niggling sense of inspiration, or guilt, as the case may be.

I've put thought and prayer into choosing this word, that is not the norm for me. I make decisions quickly and rarely deliberate for long, but I'm earning to be more intentional {that would have been a good word...} so I took my time and put some thought into it.

My word for 2018 is:

 Relationships

Y'all want to know how serious I am about this {and how supportive my husband is}? We added it to our budget. So that I can casually invite someone out for coffee or lunch. If that doesn't make it official, well, that and announcing it to the world on the blog, I don't know what does.

I think eggs (toad in a hole) fit this post, right? Even 2 eggs. You know, for sharing.

I want to focus on relationships I already have and build a stronger sense of community, but I also want to focus on building new relationships. {Who am I kidding? That should probably not be plural, let's not go crazy here!} I want to focus on real, authentic relationships, because I might as well face it, I'm over 40. What you see is what you get. I don't have time or energy for pretense.

I know this is an attainable goal, I also know it doesn't happen without intentionality.

So here is to community and coffee shop chats in 2018! 

Welcome 2018!

We have a tradition in the Martin family. Each New Year's Day we all meet at Grandma's house and spend the day together. Keith has 5 brothers, all are married, all have children. Some of his nieces and nephews are married and some of them have children. When everyone is there it is around 50 people. This year his only younger brother, Curtis, had sick children (four sick boys, y'all pray for them!) so his family wasn't there. But it was still a huge crowd for a not so huge house.

As you can imagine, the amount of food is mind boggling. It is a good way to start the year. Family, food, fun, and this year there was also singing. Most in the family like to sing. It is one of those things in conservative Mennonite settings. People learn to sing well in 4-part harmony. It is learned at school, at church, and often at home too. It is pretty amazing actually.

I know a lot of people are saying this, but 2017 was a hard year for me. My health has been bad. The pain levels have increased. I have almost constant nausea. It has just been rough. I feel broken and worn down. Chronic pain tends to wear you down on an emotional level. I still have all of the support I have had through my family, but I am struggling. I trust God, that He knows best. I know He could heal me or lead us to the right doctors and treatments. I want to be one of those amazing people who goes through years of pain and can praise God for the experience, but I am just not there. "Lord I believe, help Thou my unbelief." sums up my life right now.

Welcome 2018! I have chosen a word, or maybe 2,  for this year that I want to focus on. I am going to save that for another post. This one is long enough, so I'll share it with you tomorrow. Besides it deserves a post of its own.

I am taking up my 365 project, meaning 1 photo per day, goal again this year. You can follow those posts here.

December 26

It is December 26. Keith is back at work. Douglas ran to Walmart to pick up a couple of my prescriptions before running Freeland to work at Chick-Fil-A. Freeland has his work clothes in the washer and is cleaning up the kitchen while Casper, Annika, and Eliana are doing their morning chores, admittedly they are still in their pajamas, but it is Christmas vacation, after all.

My 5 favorite gifts! 

Yesterday was a sweet day. We had a {barely} white Christmas, which we were all hoping for. The gifts were exceptionally fun to give this year. We were very careful and intentional about getting the perfect gift for each child. Casper got a VR headset and was super impressed with it. I knew he would be. Freeland got a punching bag. He has wanted one for a long time. Annika got a huge stuffed fox, it has been her dearest heart's desire since she saw it several months ago. His name is Nick, and he is already part of the family. Eliana got a huge art set with lots of fun pieces. Of course there were other gifts, but those were the ones I was most excited to give. Douglas got sort of boringish gifts, but he is getting to be such an adult that it is just the way it goes I guess.

My favorite Chrismas morning picture. Seriously, LOOK AT HIM!!

I put together a video for my parents that you can see here if you are interested. This is my family. My oldest sister's family is not represented here, I need to get some pictures from her and I'l add them, but the rest of us are all represented here.

As the children get older I tend to pull them all a little closer. Our years of our whole family being home with no other obligations may be limited. When I think about that I have difficulty breathing.

Casper made each of us a pillowcase. He chose emoji fabric for Annika, she is quite pleased with it.

We opened gifts with oven mitts on Christmas Eve just for fun.

I'm thinking about blogging and how much this little blog has evolved through the years. It started as a place to document our adoption of Eliana from China. That was more than six years ago. It has documented our life since then, my photography journey, my thoughts and feelings as well as the everyday happenings. My work with Superkids is documented here, my trips to China and Taiwan are all here. My health crash is all outlined here, my diagnosis, my chronic pain. And hopefully the faithfulness of God is seen woven throughout the whole thing.

God has been stirring my heart. I have stories to tell. Stories of pain, stories of children I have met, stories of miracles I have seen. He has been laying on my heart the need to tell those stories. I don't know exactly where this will go, but I'm going to start here. It only seems right. So expect a few changes here over the next few weeks.

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas from the Martins!

Three Days...

Three days until Christmas. We keep it relatively simple. One gift per child, basically. But then there are the pajamas for Christmas Eve. And the new clothes for Christmas Day. And all of the little things for stockings. I apparently got fixated on all things lip balm this year. There are the holiday flavored chapsticks, and the Carmex, because everyone needs something that actually helps when your lips are chapped, and the Hurrah lip balm because flavors like Earl Grey and Chai Spice are not to be ignored. If nothing else we will not have chapped lips this winter.

The children get out of school at noon. They are all having Christmas parties today and were laden with gifts, Cheetos, Doritos, and sweet tea. Of course sweet Eliana was trying to get all of her loot out the door and left it open long enough for the dog to slip out. Chaos ensued as gifts, Doritos, and sweet tea were dropped and everyone ran in hot pursuit after the dog. Don't worry, he was only interested in running straight to Freeland anyway. We got him safely back in the house and I shooed the tribe back down the lane, Cheetos, doritos, sweet tea and all. Then I got to thinking about how I yelled at Eliana to SHUT THE DOOR and about how much I wanted them to have a special, joy-filled day. So I threw on my robe and shoes and drove down the lane. They looked at me like I had two heads, but I motioned for them to jump in and I gave them all hugs and told them I loved them. Then the bus came and off they went.

I love Christmas. I love reflecting on how Jesus' birth and life changed the world. I love that so many people celebrate that. I also just love the family traditions that surround holidays. The things that bind families together. Many of the things we do as a family come from traditions our parents and grandparents started. The children get a new set of clothes on Christmas Day because that is what Nan-Naw and J did for my siblings and I when I was young.

The older I get the more these things mean to me. I want to keep it simple and I want Jesus to be our focus, but that applies to all of life. Christmas is also about family. I love that part!