Six Years

Six years ago today Eliana officially became a Martin. You can see our post from that day here. I love looking back, not only because it was such a wonderful day, but because the things I experienced that day have now become familiar. I have been back to Yu Garden many times. I have eaten delicious Chinese food many times. I can eat noodle with chopsticks like a champ.

But I digress. This girl right here. That's what it is about.

She is the most loving child. Sometimes she sees another child say something unkind to their mother and she is genuinely horrified. I could never treat you like that, my precious mom! It is the sweetest.

She loves pandas. She wants to move to China and take care of panda babies when she grows up.

She never misses an opportunity to say she is thankful to have a family. Her prayers are just precious. She always thanks God for her family and that she has the best mom and dad in the whole wide world.

She calls herself my sidekick and loves to do anything with me. She will say, "Do you need your sidekick, Mom?" and jump right in to do whatever I'm doing. She curls up beside me on the bed every chance she gets. She likes to ask, "Is it snuggle time?" And it normally is when she asks.

We are so thankful that little Wu Xing Yao became Eliana Peace Martin six years ago!

A Tale of Two Boys {Part 2}

I feel like you need to understand my journey in order for me to actually communicate what I want to say, so I'm going to tell you some of my thoughts and struggles. It seems the children that we see in Taiwan are happy where they are. They are well cared for, they have people who care about them. So is it truly in their best interest to find a family in America for them? I wrestled with this, not for the younger children so much, but for the older ones it is only right to think about these things.

I watched as someone showed caregivers pictures of a child who had been adopted months before and I watched them smile at the adorable pictures, happy for the good family he was in... and it struck me, the children are cared about, no question. But they deserve to be the center of someone's universe. They need to be so important to someone that that person's world would shatter without them in it. That is what is missing.

Even older children need that. I think of my boys. Casper will be 13 tomorrow. Freeland is 16. Douglas is 18. They still need us. They need us in a different way than little ones do, but I try to imagine them navigating the teenage years and launching out on their own without the steadfast love of parents and family and I can't do it.

So, with all of that background I want to tell you about two boys.

Here they are. Taiwan has privacy laws that prohibit the sharing of a child's full face.

They are not biologically related, but they feel like brothers and they want to be adopted together. What are the chances? They are 9 and 11 years old.

Anderson is 11. He has experienced some things in life that make him fearful and he lacks self confidence. He wants a family, he wants to belong. But he feels much more confident when he is with Morgan. Morgan is 9 and is good at math. He is a quiet kid. They are in the same foster home. They belong together.

They belong together and they deserve to be loved like my boys are loved. Do you see the difficulty here? Do you see why my heart has been heavy since I got home from Taiwan? Do you feel the burden I feel?

Could you possibly be the family for these boys? Or maybe you know someone who could be the perfect fit. It isn't easy to find families open to older boys. And especially not two older boys at once. But I am going to try.

They deserve that I try.

I am praying that I am going to write a part 3 to this tale telling you their family found them. Will you help me make that a reality?

If you want information about Anderson and Morgan email Mary Chapman at mary.chapman@gladney.org.

Happy Birthday, Freeland!

I will get back to my post about the boys I met in Taiwan, but today is all about Freeland.

This morning

This boy, this quirky, funny, risk-loving son of ours turns 16 today. For him that means getting his driving permit and one step closer to independence. For me it means that 16 years have disappeared into thin air.

At about 1 week old.

I know everyone says it, but wasn't it just yesterday that our tiny son was born at 32 weeks? I'll never forget that first day, seeing him in the NICU, the tiniest baby I had ever seen at that time.

And, at times the days have seemed long. So long. But the years... how can they be this short?

age 4

This sweet boy loves his dog. He loves basketball and doing things with friends. He is outgoing and likes to be busy, but he does love a good cozy afternoon at home too.

In the evenings, after the girls go to bed, he heads straight to our bedroom where he, Casper, and I watch different series together. Or sometimes we just talk and laugh. We have had some of the best jokes and conversations in those times. I know I will always cherish those memories and hope that he will too.

He works at Chick-Fil-A on Saturdays right now. He doesn't love doing jobs around the house, but apparently he does know how to work well because we get great feedback from his managers.

Age 12 

Tomorrow we are going to go let him take his written test for his driving learners permit. He has been studying so I think he will do fine. And then, oh God watch over us. This reckless child of mine will begin to learn to drive.

There is no way I can put into words the way I love this boy. Happy birthday, son. May God be near to you in the coming year.

A Tale of Two Boys {Part 1}

You all know that I went to Taiwan in November. This was my third time to travel to Taiwan with Superkids. I haven't talked about my trips there much. It has been an emotionally conflicting  subject for me.

This gorgeous child from Taiwan now has a family.

The organizations we visit in Taiwan are different from the orphanages we visit in China. Not in a good way, not in a bad way, just different. Right now, due to some changes in China, we are not able to visit orphanages. Naturally this makes me sad. I love China. I love the kids I know there.

You may not think Taiwan would be that different from China, but it is a totally different program with different guidelines and a different timeline. In order to be a good advocate for children from a specific country you need to understand the way adoptions work in that country. At one point it made me feel tired just to think about learning everything I needed to know to really throw myself into advocacy for children from Taiwan.

A bridge near one of the orphanages we visit in Taiwan.

I am not the type of person who can have a door right in front of me and not step through {shocker, I know}. So I started asking questions and learning.

I know that none of this seems to have anything to do with two boys, but I need to share the background before I can move on. I'm getting there...

Our youngest man-child last summer at the bay.

I started out as a boy mom, having three sons first. I love being a boy mom! I love that these big, taller-than-me boy-men are still my little boys. I love these teenage years. When they were all little, I couldn't imagine them being this size. I had no idea that parenting teenage boys would be this amazing and this difficult. I also didn't foresee how much the man-children would still need their parents.

So when I meet older boys in orphanages the ones who tug at my hearts the most are the ones who remind me of my sons...

I feel like this is getting too long. And I need you all to actually hear the story of these two boys. So I'm going to stop here and continue this post tomorrow. Please come back. I need to share this with you...

Early Dismissal

We got up and got everyone out the door today in decent time. The kids each have jobs they are supposed to get done before they leave in the mornings, which were far from done, but we made it down the lane in time to get on the bus, so I call that a win.

This kid is on winter break right now and enjoyed it to the fullest today!

Anyway, I feel like I've been behind and trying to play catch up with my Superkids work since, oh, the beginning of November or so. So I dug right in, ignoring the dishes on the counter and laundry on the floor. Somewhere between finishing a video and editing the rest of the pictures for the new children we met in Taiwan on our last trip, I got an email from the school announcing an early dismissal time due to weather.

Timber was thrilled to grab a sandwich from an un-eaten lunch.

He guarded it on his bed for awhile, but got hungry for a little snack eventually.

Since I hadn't even checked the weather or looked out the window I was shocked to realize that it was sleeting and snowing. I looked around and devised a plan. I'm not going to spell it out for you in detail, but the main components were child labor and bribery.

The house looks better now. Not great, but better. And we all piled on the bed together for a while and watched Psych. It is how I bribe them, but the reality is that it is my favorite thing to do. It is a queen size bed. And there were five of us. I think that equals about 2.5 inches each or something like that. Especially since we all need pillows and blankets. It is the best!

Now we have lasagna in the oven and I'm already secretly hoping for a delayed school start time in the morning...

Word of the Year

I've done this before. In 2013 and 2014 I chose a word for the year. I like having a goal for improvement tucked away in my mind. Choosing a word to focus on for a year works better for me than resolutions. It just sort of hangs there in my mind providing a niggling sense of inspiration, or guilt, as the case may be.

I've put thought and prayer into choosing this word, that is not the norm for me. I make decisions quickly and rarely deliberate for long, but I'm earning to be more intentional {that would have been a good word...} so I took my time and put some thought into it.

My word for 2018 is:

 Relationships

Y'all want to know how serious I am about this {and how supportive my husband is}? We added it to our budget. So that I can casually invite someone out for coffee or lunch. If that doesn't make it official, well, that and announcing it to the world on the blog, I don't know what does.

I think eggs (toad in a hole) fit this post, right? Even 2 eggs. You know, for sharing.

I want to focus on relationships I already have and build a stronger sense of community, but I also want to focus on building new relationships. {Who am I kidding? That should probably not be plural, let's not go crazy here!} I want to focus on real, authentic relationships, because I might as well face it, I'm over 40. What you see is what you get. I don't have time or energy for pretense.

I know this is an attainable goal, I also know it doesn't happen without intentionality.

So here is to community and coffee shop chats in 2018! 

Welcome 2018!

We have a tradition in the Martin family. Each New Year's Day we all meet at Grandma's house and spend the day together. Keith has 5 brothers, all are married, all have children. Some of his nieces and nephews are married and some of them have children. When everyone is there it is around 50 people. This year his only younger brother, Curtis, had sick children (four sick boys, y'all pray for them!) so his family wasn't there. But it was still a huge crowd for a not so huge house.

As you can imagine, the amount of food is mind boggling. It is a good way to start the year. Family, food, fun, and this year there was also singing. Most in the family like to sing. It is one of those things in conservative Mennonite settings. People learn to sing well in 4-part harmony. It is learned at school, at church, and often at home too. It is pretty amazing actually.

I know a lot of people are saying this, but 2017 was a hard year for me. My health has been bad. The pain levels have increased. I have almost constant nausea. It has just been rough. I feel broken and worn down. Chronic pain tends to wear you down on an emotional level. I still have all of the support I have had through my family, but I am struggling. I trust God, that He knows best. I know He could heal me or lead us to the right doctors and treatments. I want to be one of those amazing people who goes through years of pain and can praise God for the experience, but I am just not there. "Lord I believe, help Thou my unbelief." sums up my life right now.

Welcome 2018! I have chosen a word, or maybe 2,  for this year that I want to focus on. I am going to save that for another post. This one is long enough, so I'll share it with you tomorrow. Besides it deserves a post of its own.

I am taking up my 365 project, meaning 1 photo per day, goal again this year. You can follow those posts here.