A Few Bible Verses Related to Adoption

God's makes His love and concern for orphans very clear in the Bible.  He repeatedly reveals His love of justice and mercy through His concern for orphans, widows, and strangers.

Our God is a:

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.

Psalms 68:5-6

 

God defines pure religion very clearly for us:

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

James 1:27

 

God is praised and lifted up for these attributes:

You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more.

Psalms 10:14,17-18

 

God commands us to:

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.

Proverbs 31:8-9

 

God shows His love for children:

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.

Matthew 18:5

 

God Himself chose to adopt us:

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."

Romans 8:14-16

 

And... do you really want to show your love for God? 

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Matthew 25:30

 

Remember...

 

November is National Adoption Month.

 

Ask God how He would have you care for one of His children today.

It Is November!!!

And I am so excited about it.

November is National Adoption Month!!

So...

I have a couple things to tell you about. 

I am sponsoring a child for the

Reece's Rainbow Christmas Angel Tree 2012.

The goal is to raise $1,000 for this little love by the end of the year.

I did a bit of figuring and discovered that if each of my sweet readers would give about $0.30 a day we would exceed this goal with ease.  So how about setting aside a coin jar for little Sadie and seeing how much you can collect in two months?

You can read more about Sadie and donate to her fund here.  I will be putting a clickable link on my sidebar as well.  Together we can make a difference to this child! It is not for lack of  willing families as much as for lack of funds that children like Sadie wait with little or no hope. 

In the words of Edward Everett Hale- "I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything; but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do."

And now for the other thing I want to tell you about. 

November is National Adoption Month!!

So...

I am going post a lot about adoption this month.  I love telling our story, but I'd like you to tell yours too!  So if you would like to do a guest post this month please contact me at erinmrtn@yahoo.com.  Other bloggers are welcome, but you do not need to have a blog to participate I would love to have some posts from adoptive parents, adoptees, birth parents, and adoption professionals.  If adoption has touched your life please send me an email.

CCCWA Mid-Autumn Festival Harbor Cruise

Pat Marcus and Me

One of the main reasons we went to New York City this weekend was so that we could attend an event that Gladney was hosting.  They chartered a boat for a cruise on the Hudson River.  There were about 20 adoption officials from China plus a lot of adoptive families.  Any of you who know anything about Chinese officials know that there were lengthy introductions and speeches.  I lost track of what all these people were directors of, but when they introduced the lady who issues the travel approvals, I applauded loudly!  I know my China adoptive mommy friends would have joined me!

April - "Adoption Rocks"  :)

Eliana with Gongzhan - the Gladney Asia Program Director
Gongzhan is also from Shanghai

The children had a wonderful time.  They explored the whole boat.  The boys said that they offered their photography services to all the Chinese officials on board (I think they actually did take a few pictures when they were asked to.)  Annika thoroughly enjoyed using fabric markers on squares that Pat Marcus plans to use to make a quilt for the CCCWA.  Of course there was some good Chinese food which the children enjoyed since it bore little resemblance to the Dim Sum fare that we had yesterday.

Visiting China Official with Most of the Children
(See Eliana noticing the typical Chinese hand-motion when posing for photos.  This is something she did when we first got her.  But today that memory came back for her, and she kept doing it throughout the day)

The Girls Got Their Faces Painted 

A CCCWA Official

The wind was a bit brisk, but the sun was shining warmly.  And all around us were the amazing views of Manhattan.  

Brooklyn Bridge - from beneath

Statue of Liberty

What an awesome place for a boat ride!

They Are Just My Babies...

As the normal morning activities of a homeschooling family with five children swirl around me I sit down to write.

I hear one son singing as he does his morning jobs. "I've been tickled by a feather, I've been tickled by a wasp, I've been tickled by a yellow bumble bee..."  It makes my heart smile to hear him. 

Another son wonders about the time, worried that he is not going to complete his jobs by the time I told him to try to finish. 

The girls are splashing in the tub.  They don't normally bathe in the morning, but this morning they are so excited about getting their hair washed with their new watermelon scented shampoo that we make an exception.

So what is on my mind that I sit at my computer at this time in the morning?  What kept me awake as I thought and prayed about it last night?

I have started this post several times.  I have always stopped and deleted it before it was finished.  I don't want to be misunderstood.  There is a lot of talk in the adoption world about the mission or calling of adoption.  And I understand that. I truly feel that God called us to adopt our girls. The needs of orphans around the world are very real and the statistics are staggering.  As Christians these needs should move us to compassion and mercy! God even commands us to take special care of orphans and widows.

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." James1:27 

But... I want my girls to know that it is so much more than that!  We need them in our family.  I need them as much as they need me.  They are not a mission project.  They are my babies. 

When God moves your heart with compassion and calls you to adopt one of His needy little ones He gives you everything you need to complete the calling.  He gives you the love and the longing.  He replaces your natural desires with His desire for you!  He creates a hole in your family that only that child can fill.  

That is the beauty of adoption.  Mutual need, of a family who needs a child and a child who needs a family, being brought together.  It is a match made in heaven.  Quite literally.

My Girls...

My girls . . . 

when they are not being giggly, wiggly, silly girls.

They are so precious. 

So beautiful.

I cannot thank God enough for entrusting these precious girls to our care!  I pray I can be the mother they need.  To help them to know that they are truly treasured and loved.

The other morning I pulled them both close and whispered in their ears, "You are my little dreams come true."  It is so true!  Thank you, God, for my girls!  Thank you that, in them, my dreams came true!

Six Months

Today I pause in the middle of another busy, ordinary day.  I marvel at how normal it all seems, this life of being a mother to five.  I marvel at how, even though it is pretty wobbly around the edges, we have a routine and life is mostly predictable most days.

Our first glimpse of Eliana.

Six months ago today I walked through the doors of this house for the first time with Eliana in my arms.  I knew we were entering a new normal and that it would not all be easy, and I was right.  It hasn't all been easy.  But it has been good.

I wish I could tell you how far our girl has come in this six months, but so much of her progress is hard to verbalize.  She has gone from seeming like a baby to seeming like a little girl.  She has become so much more confident and secure.  Her language and ability to express herself increases daily.  Her physical development has been phenomenal.  She now runs, jumps, rides a bike with training wheels, and does all the stuff a child should do.  She loves to eat.  Oh my, how this girl loves to eat!  She gives and receives love very freely.

Eliana today.

I know that having her in our family is a miracle.  Sometime I want to tell you how much being her mother has changed me, but today I just want to thank God again for placing her in our family. We are humbled and honored to be her parents!

Boys, Boys, Boys...

One of the most common misconceptions about adopting from China is that there are almost exclusively girls waiting for families.  When the reality is that, in the waiting child program, there are many more boys than girls waiting for families in China!  Right now approximately 75% of the children on the list of available children that China releases are boys!

As a matter of fact, being a boy is almost considered an additional "special need".  A boy and a girl near the same age with similar special needs may even have their files classified differently.  The boy's file will more likely be designated "Special Focus" meaning that he is considered more difficult to place for adoption, while the girl's file will not be. Since when is gender a special need?!

I do not think this means that there are literally many more boys than girls in orphanages, but rather it reflects the fact that the vast majority of people adopting prefer to adopt girls.

I do not know why most people adopting request a girl, but I have heard the idea that girls are "easier" to parent than boys. I do not see it that way. Each of our children have their own unique personality. Each have strong and weak points. Each of them has challenged us as parents. Each of them has brought us untold joy.

 If you are considering adoption can you at least think about opening your heart to a little boy? People who are open to boys are often matched with a child much more quickly!

Now I know, we have adopted girls, and there is no question in my mind that these girls were placed in our family by God.  So this post is not about making people feel guilty for deciding to adopt a girl, but just to make people more aware of how many boys are waiting for families!

Another Milestone

Last night Keith and I went out for supper.  We left the children with Keith's brother and his wife.  This was the first time we left Eliana with anyone.  We were a little worried about how she would handle it.  We explained it to her and assured her we wouldn't be gone for long.

When we arrived at Keith's brother's she ran right in and started playing.  There were no tears when we left.  And she did great the whole time!  She asked where we were a few times but was satisfied when they reminded her that we would be back soon. 

They said she proudly informed them that she has a Daddy and Mommy, which is so sweet and humbling.

She came running and laughing, "Mommy!" when we got back.  We were so proud of her for being so brave!

Just 4 months ago this same little girl panicked when I got out of the van to drive another vehicle home even though Keith and the other children were still in the van with her.  We stopped part way home to trade places because she simply couldn't stop screaming! 

So, being fine for an evening without either of us there is amazing progress!  What an incredible journey it has been! I'm sure that we still have a ways to go, but just look how far we've come!

Last Year on July 19...

Last year on July 19 I had a very hard day.  The next day my baby girl was turning three.  Another birthday in an orphanage without a family.  I remember so well how my heart hurt at the thought!

This is what I wrote then:

Its the first birthday that little ones really get. With all of our children its always this huge deal. We count the days on the calendar. We make a paper count down chain. Its like a month long celebration and finally the day arrives and they are just sure they are actually bigger and stronger and faster because they are now three.


But what about when your baby is on the other side of the world in an orphanage? She doesn't know her birthday is coming. No one is counting the days with her. She can't tear a link off the chain every evening. She won't even know to feel bigger and stronger and faster. She won't know that now she is three.

What a difference a year makes!  We have already had two birthday parties.  I don't think she actually understands, but she does love the Happy Birthday song! 

Tomorrow we plan to go to New York City.  We will go to visit the people at Gladney who helped us bring her home.  In the evening we will meet Pat Marcus for supper.  We will give Eliana gifts and sing to her. I do not know if she will feel bigger and stronger, I don't know if she will understand that she is a year older.  But I do know that she will know that she is loved.

Waiting Child Webinar

Gladney is holding a special webinar on Thursday, July 19 at 7 PM EST in which Pat Marcus will be speaking about her recent trip to China when she visited children in the Shanghai and JiangXi provinces.  She will be sharing her experience with meeting each of the children she met that are available for adoption through Gladney's partnership program with certain orphanages in these provinces.  I know she met a lot of children and I'm really excited to hear more about these precious children.

I will be sharing our China adoption story as well.  This is way a bit outside of my comfort zone, but I'm going to try!

If you want to join in you can register here.

God Has Answered - Again { Part 2 }

A couple of weeks ago we had a unique domestic adoption situation mentioned to us.  A baby due mid-July who was not matched with a family.  We thought about it and prayed about it and said that our family could be presented to the birth mother as a possible family for her baby.  This was a huge step of faith as we had very little information about the situation, but if God brings a baby to us we will welcome it with open arms!

We waited to hear.  And I became quite excited at the possibility.  I have such sweet memories of the time our boys were tiny and even though I really tried not to get excited I did.  That is me.  It is a little embarrassing, actually, but opening my heart to a child makes them "mine" even if it is only for a short time.  Even when I advocate for a child they become mine for a time.  So even though I knew the possibility of actually getting to be this baby's parents was very slim, I still let go of my heart for a bit.

Last Friday, we heard that the birth mother had chosen another family.  And, while I wasn't surprised, I was very disappointed.  Because I wanted God to say, "Yes, this baby is yours!"  and He didn't.

Then on Monday I took Annika to our pediatrician because swollen lymph nodes in her neck and behind her ear.  This was her second visit in the last 6 weeks for this issue.  The pediatrician feels that the lymph nodes are not responding appropriately to treatment and that we need to get a biopsy done to find out what is going on for sure.

Now we are hoping and praying that this is not a serious issue.  And our pediatrician did say that he is not terribly worried, but that he felt this was a cautious approach. The biopsy is scheduled for next Wednesday. 

I wanted to be announcing to the world that we are welcoming another child into our family and instead I am asking you all to pray for our sweet little girl.  The possibility of what we could be facing makes me feel weak in the knees.

I want to be able to trust God with all of the answers, not just when it is the answer I am hoping for.  So God is still answering.  God is still good.

God Has Answered - Again { Part 1 }

It recently occurred to me that perhaps many of you do not know the story behind the name of our blog.  A couple years ago we were going through a time in life where we felt that God was calling us to serve Him in a more complete way.  About this time we were contacted about the need for families to go to a mission in Colombia and we wanted to be open to whatever came up.  So we pursued this possibility for a couple of months.  It did not seem doors were opening, and we were not wanting to force our way through.

It had always been our desire to adopt again and we really wondered how this could all work out.  So when it seemed that we were not going to be moving to Colombia at this point we looked at each other and said, "Why not adopt now?"  And we were off!

Everything fell into place very quickly.  We chose to go though Gladney since we had a very positive experience with them in Annika's adoption.  We quickly decided that the China Waiting Child program fit our family well and about a month later, when we were still early in the paperwork gathering phase, we saw this little girl on Gladney's photo listing.  She was so cute!  But she was listed as having "multiple special needs".  We had no idea what that might mean, but it sounded pretty scary!




One of the first photos we saw of Eliana.

Around this same time I watched one of Gladney's webinars. In this particular webinar they were focusing on boys who were waiting for families.  Just before the webinar I prayed that if we were supposed to consider this little girl that she would be included in this webinar about boys.  And guess what?  Just at the end they said, "I know we are talking about boys today but I do have one little girl I want to show you..."

We sent an email requesting her file that evening.  And we fell in love with this little girl.  The rest, as they say, is history.

We knew that this very special little girl needed a very special name.  I spent days and days searching for the perfect name.  It had to have a special meaning.  It had to be very feminine sounding.  And I really wanted to find one that started with a vowel (like Erin and Annika).  I made lists and tried them out on Keith in the evening.  But the perfect name wasn't easy o find!

And then I found it.  Eliana.  A Hebrew name meaning, "God has answered."  It met all of my "requirements"! We decided to use Peace as her middle name.  "God has answered. Peace."

And that is how I came to call this blog "God Has Answered".  I am going to stop this saga here for now as it is getting rather long, but I want to tell you about the opportunity I alluded to here and another situation our family is facing that requires trust in God's perfect goodness.

It seems our family is being stretched right now. God is good.

Too Old? { The Story of my Snaggle-Toothed Boy }

This is Casper.  He was born on a cold January night in 2005.  The only problem with that was that we were not expecting to meet him until mid-April.  In the middle of  being rushed to the OR so that the necessary emergency c-section could be performed,  I was being told that he may or may not cry at birth, but that they would do everything they could for him.  He cried.  A tiny little sound like a kitten mewing.  Only in my ears it was a loud sound echoing around the OR because I was so tense listening for it.

But this is Casper.  Now he is 7.  And he is a strong, healthy boy.  He is a sweet natured boy who still loves to climb on my lap to be cuddled.  He is my quiet child.  The one who will spend long periods of time driving little cars and trucks around and lining them up in neat, precise rows.  He loves to read.  He spends many a quiet hour curled up with a book.  But he can be loud.  And he can be silly.  I look at him and wonder what he will do with his life.  He is still such an innocent little boy with his life stretching before him.

Now, take a look at the little boys on my sidebar.  Two of them are a few months younger than Casper.  And yet for so many families it is just "too old".  And it just breaks my heart to think of my sweet little Casper being passed over because he happens to be a 7 year old boy who had a "very difficult neonatal path". 

I think about how if Casper were in need in a far off place how we would fight with everything in us to get to him.  To be with him.  We would do anything to be there for our son!

And then I think of how each of these boys are precious to God.  They are God's own dear children.  They are in need.  And God has commanded us to work in His stead here on earth.  Why aren't more Christians standing in the gap?  Why are we not tearing down walls with our bare hands to get to the children in need all over this world!?  There are so many.  The need is so great.  If you cannot open your home to a child, can you financially help someone who can?  If you cannot do either, can you lift these children up in prayer and tell others of the need?  Can you sponsor a child or a family in need?

I do understand that we cannot all adopt and that God does not place adoption on everyone's heart. But He is very clear on this point,  "As you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me."  We can all do something.

Three Months Home!

Three months have slipped quietly by since we arrived home from China with our sweet baby girl.  It seems like yesterday and it seems like forever ago all at the same time.  It is hard to imagine life without her.  The other evening I commented that the girls and I had eaten at a certain place once upon a time.  Suddenly it hit me, no Annika and I ate there before Eliana was home!

Some facts about Eliana at three months home:

• She has gained 4 pounds.
• She has grown 2 1/2 inches.
• She understands English very well, she seems to comprehend most of what we say to her.
• She has a nice list of English words, phrases, and sentences that she uses regularly. Some of her favorites are: "Shut the door!"  "Stand in the corner!" (loves this one)  "Good girl"  "Bad boy" (never good boy and never bad girl, but she does call the boys good girls...) "I want shoes on!" "See ya" "I wuv lou"  (I love you)
• She now says "goodnight" very sweetly as we walk out the door after putting her to bed.
• She loves, loves, loves to sing and has learned many new songs.  Generally you can't understand the words but the tune is spot on.
• She has overcome many of her fears.  She used to scream when she saw stuffed animals and dolls, she now plays with them happily.
• She has started going places with Keith even if I am not along. (This is huge!)

We marvel over and over at how perfectly she fits into our family.  There is no question in our minds that God brought us together, and we are so very grateful that He did!

Oh, and by the way, the cheese turned out great! :)

Her Little Wounded Heart

This is a post that has been rattling around in my brain for a long time.  I have started it several times and always aborted the effort part way through.  You see, her little heart has been wounded, but it is her heart we are talking about here and no mother lightly speaks of the wounding of her precious daughter's heart.

First let me tell you a little about Eliana.  She is precious!  She has the sweetest personality of anyone I know.  She is very affectionate and gives us dozens of kisses in a day's time.  She is generally within a few feet of where I am and is often holding onto me (seriously, it is a good thing I wear dresses all the time, a skirt gives her a little more freedom to hold on and still be able to play).  If she is holding my hand she kisses it over and over.  Most mornings she comes over to our bedroom at around 5:30 to enjoy some drowsy cuddle time.  This morning I was whispering to her that she is "Daddy's girl and Mommy's girl" and she nodded her sleepy little head in agreement.  Precious, precious moments!

But she is oh so fragile!  Both physically and emotionally.  It is painful to realize that her clingy little hands symbolize her needy little heart.  She really does not understand that we are not going to just disappear one of these days.  Annika went with Keith for most of the day recently.  Eliana kept asking for her all day.  Of course we assured her that Annika would come back soon.  She cried when I gave her a bath and got her ready for bed.  "Annika" was all she said.  When Annika walked in shortly thereafter she screamed in delight.  And laughed.  And celebrated loudly.  And could not stop kissing her.  And it broke my heart.  She doesn't know.  My baby doesn't know safety and security.  She doesn't know what having a family means.

We have heard a lot about "orphanage behaviors" as we adopted our girls.  We never saw any of the "typical" things with Annika.  We do with Eliana.  She rocks herself and sucks on her fingers, totally zoned out, while she is going to sleep.  She has had difficulty with food textures.  She flinches when you make a sudden movement near her face.  It is hard to see.  We cannot help but wonder what all she experienced before she came to us.

But... she is healing.  Her little wounded heart is learning to trust.  Her little hands still cling, but no longer only to me.  She is learning that she can find security in Keith as well.  It is the most amazing thing to be her parents.  We get to be the ones who show her the love that comes from the One who "heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds..." 

Made it to Guangzhou!

Eliana is truly amazing!  Yesterday morning started early (have to love that good old jet lag!) and apparently we were a little too noisy because little Eliana was up by around 5.  We got all packed up and there was simply never a quiet time for her to be able to take a nap.  Check out time was noon and we were going to grab a quick bite to eat before our guide came at 12:30, but he came early so there was not time to get anything.  I had some snacks for her so I knew she would be fine for a bit.  So it was off to pick up the last of our paperwork in Shanghai.

Our guide then dropped us off at a shopping area where we had a couple of hours to browse and get something to eat.  I had her in the Ergo carrier and she fell asleep for a few minutes as we walked and grabbed some lunch at McDonald's.  By now we were all very tired!  Eliana does not really want Keith to carry her when we are out and about like that.  And while I am more than glad to do so it is exhausting!  She only weighs around 26 pounds, but even that gets heavy after a while!



Shopping in Shanghai!

Anyway, our guide picked us up around 3 to head to the airport.  Since we are here over one of the biggest Chinese holidays, we wanted to get there in plenty of time just in case it was overly crowded.  As it ended up, we still had about 2 hours to wait for our flight once we were through security.  We got something to eat for our, by now, very hungry little girl then found a place to sit down.  Eliana played and was generally sweet and happy.  I'll have to admit that by now it was become a bit of a struggle for me to be as sweet and happy as she was being!



Watching airplanes.

Finally we boarded the plane.  I really expected a struggle with needing to strap a very exhausted little 3 1/2-year-old into a seat.  But no, she was totally enchanted with the seat belt and buckle.  Throw her own personal light into the equation and a magazine out of the seat pocket and you had delight and entertainment for as much of the flight as she could keep her little eyes open. She did cry briefly when we were landing, but that was it.

She went soundly to sleep as we were driving to our hotel and only woke up briefly as I put her pj's on her.  She whispered her own special little sound she makes when she wants a bottle and made the accompanying hand motion.  I was more than glad to give her this comfort!  She barely even started drinking it before she was out again and now it is 7:15 AM and she is still asleep.